Breaking the Cycle of Negativity with Positive Self Talk

Do you suffer with depression, bi-polar, low-self esteem, mood disorders, anxiety or panic attacks? You need to practice positive self talk. Call it daily affirmations, self talk or self-hypnosis, positive self statements are essential to emotional healing and recovery.

Negative self-talk is irrational and unreasonable.It is reactionary and argumentative. Negative self talk is subjective when dealing with self and objective when dealing with others. As a result it is unbalanced and unfair. Here are common forms of negative self talk with coordinating positive self-statements.

Generalization: Negative self talk is unrealistic because it makes definitive generalizations where none exist. "I'm not able to do anything successfully." "I screw up all the time." Generalizations sabotage chances for success.

--Positive counter self-talk: neutralize generalization with concrete situation-specific statements. Give yourself room to improve. "I could have done a better job on this if I had paid closer attention to details, like I usually do. Next time I will ask for help when I am confused."

Exaggeration: Negative self talk uses frequent hyperbole. When the house needs tidying, negative self talk says "This house is a filthy. I'm a slob."

--Positive counter self talk: Keep it realistic. When you find yourself exaggerating, take it down a notch. Provide balance. "This bathroom could use work, but the kitchen looks very nice."

Unfair comparative: Negative self-talk compares us at our worst to others at their best. Two friends meet at the store. One is picking up some beverages for a party, the other is getting medicine for a sick child. Negative self talk says, "She always looks like a million bucks. Look at me. I look terrible."

--Positive counter self talk: Level the playing field. Quit comparing. You have no idea what is going on in someone's life. "Anne looks very nice. I look nice too when I dress up. Right now, I'm concerned for my child so dress is not a big deal."

Blame oriented: Someone must always be wrong and so when we can't find the source, we take it personally.
"I ruined her party. I should have known it was going to rain. I'm careless and thoughtless."

--Positive counter self talk: Quit finding fault, especially with yourself. Look for silver linings. "It rained. It's no ones fault. It happens. I did a nice job planning her party. People still had fun after we moved inside."

Superlative: Negative self talk speaks in extremes: always, never, too, very, totally, completely, all, nothing. "I'm never right. I am always wrong."

--Positive counter self talk: Start using words like: can, may, sometimes, occasionally, frequently. "I made a mistake. I sometimes do. I'm also frequently correct."

Unspecific: Along with generalizations, negative self talk cloaks untruths behind vague assertions. "That is bad. This is good. I am ugly and fat."

--Positive counter self talk: Pinpoint problems specifically. "I like the way my hair looks. I am sad because I miss my family. I'm worried about paying that doctor bill."

Positive self talk is not merely repeating sunny slogans. It's about identifying old unhealthy behavior and redefining how we talk to ourselves in new, healthy ways. For more on emotional health, visit my linked blogs.