Breaking the Habit of Emotional Eating

For many people eating or dieting is akin to life or death emotional triggers. For some, if they are not on a diet than they are overwhelmed with a sense of failure. For others, they often find themselves alone with unlimited amounts of unhealthy foods to fill the spaces in their hears. Both are destructive behaviors. Sadly, it's not enough to just recognize your unhealthy view of food. You must create a plan to counter your triggers, recognize your own eating patterns, then you can wage war on the overwhelming presence food has in your mind. This is by no means easy, and it can be painful as we're forced to look honestly at our behaviors uncovering those things we've buried for so long, but the long term benefits are unmeasurable. You may feel 'good' while shoveling it in or depriving yourself skinny, but inevitably you'll feel even greater negative emotions such as guilt (which happens to slow your metabolism as much as an unhealthy nutritional plan).

Believe it or not, acquiring and sticking to a healthy view of food is not ruled by will-power. That would be too easy. First you must face some hard truths about yourself, through self-exploration. Whether you eat the wrong kinds of foods too often, or limit yourself to tasteless foods then binge on the bad stuff with a profound sense of guilt following; both have similar triggers in the psyche.

My advice is the Me Journal. This journal is the saving grace of your wellness plan. Each day there should be several entries: Food-Mood Log, Your Pride & Joy, and the Revealing Statement.

Food-Mood Log -
This is to help you realize patterns in your eating. Many don't even know what their emotional triggers are. They are the ones to find themselves stuffed full and feeling yucky without knowing why they were eating in the first place. Each time you put something in your mouth, you should jot down the situation - Is your mother in law over for a critical visit? Do you have to give a presentation at work? Are you so emotionally exhausted from shuttling around the kids that you just feel a bit lost? Were you bored and sitting in front of the t.v.? Were you hanging out with friends and they were eating so you joined in? Whatever the situation after a couple of weeks you'll begin to see a pattern. Write down the situation and/or your mood, as well as what you ate. Your trigger could be an emotion, the time of day, even a particular person in your life. You can not begin to address the problem if you don't understand it's underlying cause.

Your Food-Mood Log should answer the following questions:

*Am I physically hungry? - you'd be surprised how many of us eat when we aren't even hungry. Be it at a company picnic, with friends or when we're feeling down, we often interpret ingestion as a means of fitting in, changing our mood, or filling those holes in our hearts.

*What do I want to eat? - Again you'll get a picture of what you're craving in relation to what you're feeling. If you're craving high fatty foods, or high chocolate or sugar content then you're probably looking for the chemical rush of your body trying to digest what should be indigestible.

*What am I eating (and in what quantity)? - If you often give into your cravings then it's obviously an emotional filler not a physiological necessity. (Otherwise you'd feel satiated and wouldn't require that food type for more than 24-48 hours, the amount of time those chemical by-products remain in your system through digestion). The quantity will give you insight into behavioral triggers as well. If, when you're happy you only eat a handful of cookies and when you're feeling down you eat the entire box - well you can't get a clearer picture than that.

*What am I feeling? - This is also pretty obvious. Getting an idea of what you're feeling at certain times, in certain situations, etc. will also pull off the blinders on your detrimental eating patterns. BE HONEST! No one will be reading this journal other than yourself. Too many of us will lie to our doctors (and ourselves) in order to not face these hard truths. There no right emotions or wrong emotions. We're human, and thus capable of feeling the entire spectrum of the emotional scale. Don't be ashamed to feel a certain way. Understanding honestly how you feel and why can help you to make changes that will lead to a happier and more fulfilling quality of life.

*What is my inner voice saying to me? - You wouldn't believe how harmful our inner-voice can be to our happiness. This inner voice is ruled by our self-image. If your inner-voice is constantly putting you down, or interpreting others' actions or statements as derisive than you'll never feel adequate and happy. If this ultimately is the case than you can develop a healthier self-image that will greatly affect your eating patterns. So again be honest. If your inner voice is constantly berating you, convincing you that you will fail in every endeavor - that eventually you'll listen to it.

Your Pride and Joy
Believe it or not this part of your daily journal has absolutely NOTHING to do with anyone but yourself. Each day you need to find 3 things you are proud of yourself for doing, thinking or saying. If you exercised well. If you were able to take criticism from your Mother-in-law without having an emotional breakdown, if you once had your inner voice tell you you were a beautiful person inside and out - any of these are examples of things you can be proud of. Remember, it took you your entire life to create an environment in which you had an unhealthy view of yourself and an unhealthy relationship with food - it will take a bit of time and effort to make the necessary changes. Again, this will probably be difficult to do in the beginning, when your self-image is still poor. But it is infinitely important to sowing the seeds of change. If you think 3 wonderful things about yourself just before bed each night, or right after waking in the morning or in the middle of a stressful day - you'll notice your spirits will be lifted and your emotional triggers quieted for a time.

Revealing Statement:
Again this will be quite difficult, in the beginning, to not have all your statements be negative in nature. This statement is an eye-opener. Its a statement of truth you have realized about yourself. Instead of having everything be negative - which, as you may have realized, goes against the point of the Me Journal - you can make more mundane findings: I prefer red to yellow, for instance is more positive in nature than stating I don't like yellow. You wouldn't believe how many negative thoughts go through our minds throughout any given day. All that negativity builds and builds around us. This sets us up for failure in any endeavor. tart thinking of way to put a positive twist on things. Instead of thinking I'm fat, think I'm will become the best I can be. Instead of thinking I don't have enough money, think I'm will to find a way to bring more money win. Be definitive, be positive. You can achieve anything you truly believe you can! This section of your journal is all about discovering who you really are at heart. The you you are capable of being has gotten buried under the stresses of every day life. Lets dig that old girl up to the forefront of your heart.

Now What?
Now that you've been religiously keeping your Me Journal for a few weeks you can start to analyze the patterns. Have you're revealing statements all been positive? Were you able to list 3 Proud things about yourself each day? If not take a look at your food-mood log for the day - was the day especially trying? Were you bored out of your gourd? Do you have a high amount of stress in your life?

Dig for clues. Find the patterns. Analyze the WHY you react in the way you react. Once you know the source of your destructive emotions you can begin to counter the effect. For instance, if you have a high stress job and up till now you means of coping with that stress was to bury yourself in a mountain of chocolate at the end of the day, then you can begin to take measures to decrease your stress levels or find ways of skimming that stress from your mind at the end of the day.

Here are my Top 10 Ways of Changing Your Emotional Triggers:

1) External Support: Find a person you can trust, a family member, a friend, a psychologist, a support group, whomever. You need to have at least 1 person you can unload to. Someone who won't judge your behavior but whose advice you can take to heart. You may even find that those people who trigger your destructive behavior will be the best for this job. Why? Well, they effect you so strongly because they or of utmost importance in your mind and heart. If they are so important to you, then discussing with them how their words and such affect you can open new doors. They may be able to explain away their behavior making all your stress evaporate. Or they may make a pact with you that you will point out when they're making you feel bad, and they will swear to work on their end of the problem. The point is, none of us is an island unto ourselves. Running problems around and around in your mind, like a rat on a wheel, will get you nowhere fast.

2) Internal Support: Encourage yourself. Tell the self-destructive red devil of destruction on your left shoulder to shut the hell up so you can listen to the encouragement from the angel on your right. Nurture yourself. Take physical care of yourself. Do your hair, visit a spa. When your inner voice begins to put you down or turns negative, counter that talk with positive, truthful responses. Instead of, "My new boss hates me" counter with, "We haven't had a chance to connect yet, I'll try mundane conversation if I catch her in the break room."

3) Stand Up or Yourself. Believe it or not, most people have no idea they're treating someone badly. We all take our cues from those around us. If someone has a sarcastic attitude, but tends to make you the but of their jokes, they may think it's because you like their humor. Stand up for yourself. Keep in mind, no one has the power to hurt you, only you have the power to do that. This means, if you don't listen to someone else's ranting, if you don't believe what they are saying than it won't hurt your feelings. Don't let others speak in a way that makes you feel bad about yourself. Point out when they're being disrespectful.

4) Make Peace With Yourself: It can be exhausting having a conflict with yourself. This falls under our self image category. If your self image is damaged, then your metabolism will slow, you may feel drawn and tired, eventually getting sick. Recognize that while you may have exhibited unhealthy behaviors to this point, that is not who you are. You are the person you were meant to be. Deep inside is YOU, the person who was shaped by their personality, who grew from ll the joys and pains in their life up till now. There is no good or bad about that, only truth. Again our behaviors don't necessarily represent who we are, they are just a means of us dealing with the outside world. Learning better means of coping with the outside world will allow the True You to shine.

5) Mind/Body Breaks: On a stress-filled day, take a few minutes to let your mind quiet. Sure you have a deadline coming up, or traffic might make your child late to the baseball game, will 5 minutes of just being quiet really change the outcome? Nope. In this 5 minutes you need to sit in a darkened room, no kids, no spouse, no phone or computer, etc. Just close your eyes and breathe deeply. Picture in your mind a quiet soothing place. Learn meditation. Once you've quieted, the problems of the day may not seem so overwhelming.

6) Prioritize: Many of us attribute a life or death importance to the most mundane things. Each day I set my schedule. I attribute a priority to Everything - from reading an enjoyable book, giving the kids a bath, taking medicines, eating, etc. Everything that might fill my day is included in my schedule. Once I've made my list I prioritize it. A's being life or death (like taking medications and eating) B's are very important but no one will die if it doesn't get completed (like meeting a deadline). C's are pretty important like giving the kids a bath, these are things that should be done, but can be pushed to tomorrow if necessary. D's are things that aren't important but will need to be done in the near future, so if I can do it today great, if no, no problem. Once I have everything prioritized by letter, I number each letter from greatest to least importance. So I'll have A1 being the most important thing I can do that day, like take necessary medicine. So my list is not prioritized from A1 - D4 (or whatever). As I go through my day I check things off of the list. The only things I make sure to accomplish are the A's and I try to get in the B's, otherwise there's no need to stress. I've found that this is a great way to take off some of the pressure. If I'm stressing over a deadline and my poor mind is running through all the things i should do that day, I'll become overwhelmed. With my priorities in place at breakfast, I have no worries.

7) Set Goals: Short term and long term goals help us to see exactly what it is were working toward, it also helps us to have a clear vision of what it is we want. Again my analytical nature shows through with this plan. Try to look for Long Term goals, things you hope to achieve in 1 - 5 years. Near Term Goals are things you hope to achieve within this year and Short Term goals are things you want this week, Immediate Goals are those to achieve this day (they fall into the A's Priorities). A certain amount of self-reflection is necessary to set up your plan. Don't worry if you are unsure of what your long term goals will be exactly. What are you hoping to achieve with your wellness plan? Something like I will eat healthy today falls under the Immediate goals, where as I will lost 2 pounds a week is a Short Term goal. Losing your overall weight-loss of 30 lbs would be a Near to Long Term goals. Having a clear view of what your working for makes your goals more attainable. Losing 30 pounds can seem like a lot when you get on the scale after a week and have lost 2 pounds. Not having your goals outlined would make that seem like a failure - whereas realizing you'll be taking steps toward your long term goals, by achieving your short term ones will help you feel the success you deserve.

8) Excitement: Just as it's important to set time aside for quiet, it is also important to have something fun and exciting to look forward to. Whether it's something extravagant like going on a vacation with friends, or if it's just getting a sitter so you and your spouse can have a date, they're all important. If you allow yourself to fall into a rut of the mundane, getting healthy, and working on all this self-reflection would seem stupid. Live a little. We're all on this planet for only a short time. Don't allow your time to end in regrets.

9) Write it all down. Even though you now understand your triggers and your patterns, it's important to keep a Me Journal. This will help you to stave off the temptation to fall back into old patterns when life gets difficult. It will also help you take a few minutes to think about yourself each day. You don't need to include all of the moods and environments as you did in your emotional discovery Me journal, now you can treat your journal as a true journal, writing about your day. But, you should always include all the foods you ate that day (don't forget what you drank as well), and you should try to include at least 1 proud statement as it helps you remain in a positive light. Now you can use your meeting of your goals in your proud statements as well.

10) Last, but definitely not least in importance, Change Your Food Environment: Don't fill your home with those binging foods you would have steered toward before, that would be too much temptation for a saint. Here are a few tips to Changing Your Food Environment.

*When you're tempted to emotionally eat, take a walk. Put things into perspective. Find another release. If you can not discuss things with your support system, get away from the problem for a little bit. You'll most likely find the urge dissipates.

*Eat every 4 hours. Set up a fixed eating schedule. I don't care if you have to stash healthy snacks in your car and desk in order to follow this through, it's really important. It will help your body run like the well oiled machine it is. It will also keep your body's chemicals (like hormones and sugars) in balance throughout the day, doing away with spikes and drops in energy. Listen to your body. If you're still finding yourself hungry then you need to either up the time to every 3 hours or you need to re-evaluate the types of foods you're eating.

*Drink Lots Of Water. You're mother was right, there's no better drink on the planet. It will help your body flush the yuck from your system (things like calories, fat and chemicals), it will also help you to maintain lower levels of hunger.

*Recognize food is neither the enemy nor your savior, it is nothing but a food source. Food, like money, doesn't really make you happy. It fuels your muscles and keeps your body moving - like the gas in your car. Don't put too much importance on food in your life. Setting and sticking to a realistic meal plan is essential to this being successful.

*Easy on the sugar. Sugar is a sweetener, there's no nutritional necessity in it. Furthermore, digesting sugar causes a physiological reaction in the body (started by your pancreas) that can make you momentarily feel happy, due to the hormones. But when the hormones wear off (and they do quickly) you'll inevitably feel worse than when your started. Artificial sweeteners are the devil. They are nothing more than a chemical. And chemicals force the body to work in ways it was not intended to work. They should never be used. This brings up to the topic of sodas - avoid at all costs!! Anything that can be an effective cleaning agent for both my toilet and my car's engine will never see the inside of my body.

*Balance what you eat. The term "healthy" foods is a bit evasive and doesn't really tell you what you should be eating. The exact number of calories you need should be determined by a nutritionist or a dietitian. What you eat to reach that number should be a little bit of everything (excluding the no-no's like sugar). Carbohydrates are a necessary macro-nutrient. You need them to be the energy your muscles eat in order to burn calories. You know all that fat you want to get rid of? You'll need to feed your muscles the energy it needs to burn that fat. Protein is used by the body to build and rebuild tissues. This is why muscle-builders eat so much of it - it helps build all that extra muscle tissue. Protein is not a good energy source for the body. The other macro-nutrients are minerals and vitamins as well as water, and you should always intake your daily recommended allowance (which is determined by your sex, age and weight). Sadly, it's impossible to eat enough food to get all the vitamins and minerals your body needs each day, you'd need to eat about a billion calories which would add to the fat on your thigh not take it away. So instead you should take vitamin supplements designed for your body type (the only supplements I believe the body needs). To reiterate, your plate at each meal should contain a bit of fats (very little, about 20% of your calories form the entire meal should come from the good fats) about another 20% should come from proteins (men usually require about 40 % proteins with each meal) and 60% should come from complex carbohydrates (these are your wheat's and whole grains, men require a little less at about 40%). Cutting out any of the macro-nutrients will result in an unsatisfactory diet, making you reach for snack. If you cut out carbohydrates, then you'll begin to feel drawn and tired eventually succumbing to injury or illness.

*Finally, Control Portions. I tell people to use the palm of their hands as a guide. You'll never measure out all of your food. Your actual stomach is about the size of your fist. The foods higher in calories should be remarkably smaller than the palm of your palm, those low in calories can be the size of your palm. If you are sticking to a schedule of eating every 4 hours, and you aren't cutting out a macro-nutrient like Carbs, than you shouldn't be hungry, if you're reaching for food sit back and think - are you hungry? If yes then you may need to reanalyze your food content; if No, then it's probably an emotional trigger in which case treat it accordingly.