Breaking Up: The Stupid Things People Do

C'mon people, what are you thinking?

As a Police Officer, I have dealt with couples breaking up on countless occasions. It never ceases to amaze me at the lengths people go trying to either to get back with each other or get back at each other.

This article is written based on my experience, research and an actual survey I took to find out what the top twenty senseless stupid things people do when they break up.

Yes, breaking up is hard to do, I've been through it myself and most likely everyone has been or will go through this unfortunate experience sometime in their life time. If and when that time comes, please take the smart approach, save your dignity and walk away the better person.

I have compiled a list of the top twenty things people did after they went through a break up. It was only later, after they had long gotten over the heartache, that they could look back and admit that the things they did, were pretty stupid.

Hurt yourself or others

Hurting yourself or another person never wins back your true love. Hurting yourself only proves that you need help and have a serious emotional problem that meets the criteria to have you committed for mental evaluation. Also, fighting and beating someone up will get you arrested for assault and battery and booked in jail.

Stalking

Stalking is the most common law breaking offense that occurs when people break up. Stalking is a crime and can cause unthinkable problems if you are the victim and if you are the stalker, then you are brainless.

When a relationship ends, usually each person moves on and tries to rebuild their life. If one cannot move on and thinks that stalking the other person will help matters, than they are seriously mistaken. Stalking instills fear, causes emotional distress and proves that you have control issues so, breaking up with you was the right thing to do.

Following them, logging in and snooping through their personal email account or other social networks looking for what they are doing will create major problems and unnecessary heartache.

A good rule of thumb is to change all passwords when you break up so your ex cannot read your personal emails to find out who you are dating, having fun with or where you are spending your spare time.

Vandalize property

It is natural to be hurt and angry to a certain degree after breaking up but do not vandalize property belonging to your ex-partner. It is a crime and depending on the value (over $400.00 dollars) can be a felony and you will be arrested and put in jail.

Constant calling

Constantly calling and arguing over the phone never solves anything and most of the time it ends up with the other person filing a Police report for "Threats" or "Annoying phone calls".

Texting and emailing

Do not text or email threatening messages or anything that can be used against you in court. The courts are taking these messages very serious now days. Arguing, begging and pleading through texting/email will not accomplish anything.

Make false Police reports

Filing a false Police report is a crime and if it is proven that you lied to the Police and filed a report just to try and get your ex in trouble then you could pay a fine, go to jail or both.

Driving by or parking in front of the house

Driving back and forth or parking in front of the house or place of employment of your ex is like stalking. Besides being creepy it can lead to you making contact, seeing something you do not want to see and getting yourself in trouble.

Show up unannounced

If you show up uninvited, unannounced or not wanted at their place of employment, home or tracking them down you are going to end up with a restraining order against you.

Send flowers or gifts

It is better for everyone involved that you do not send any gifts or flowers in the feeble attempt to get back together. Most of the time, this practice ends up being a waste of money, not appreciated and looked upon as being desperate and pathetic..

Begging

You are allowed to beg and cry only twice. Once when you break up and maybe one more time just to satisfy your curiosity that the break up in final. By following this rule, you can still walk away with your dignity and self respect.

Drunk calling

Calling your ex after you decide to get drunk, become sentimental and fantasize getting back together always results in problems, arguing and heartache. It is always best to stay away from alcohol and drugs when going through a break up.

Talk with ex's parents or family

It is best not to try and contact or bother family members or parents of your ex, hoping they will help in some way. In most cases, the family is happy their child broke up with you.

Face book posting

Posting derogatory, defamatory or threatening messages about your ex on face book or other social network sites is immature, careless and stupid because you can be held accountable if criminal threats are involved which can be used against you in court.

Date a family member

Trying to date your ex's brother or sister is taboo, unethical and foolish, period.

Revenge dating

Trying to make your ex jealous or wanting to get back at them by revenge dating is useless and unfair to anyone who dates you.

Decide your other ex looks good now

Suddenly your other ex, who you broke up with to be with the person who just dumped you, looks good. Wanting to get back with them is unfair not to mention, brainless.

Flings and one night stands

Having irresponsible one night stands or flings is a risk you do not want to take. Snap out of it, you are better than that.

Settle or rebound for second best

After a break up you can be feeling sorry for yourself and your self esteem is probably low. Settling for second best or rebounding only sets you up for another break up down the road.

Lower your standards

You may be hurt and in need of attention so you lower your standards. Many times, your so called friends will take you out on the town for a good time which usually ends up devastating, dangerous and dumb. Keep your high standards; the right person will come along.

Telling personal secrets

Every couple has secrets or something they did in private they never would want anyone else to see. A good rule of thumb is to never make a sex tape or take pictures you would not want your family to see.

Conclusion

Because love is the most powerful emotion in the world there are probably an infinite number of ridiculous things people do when they break up. When that emotion is disrupted we lose are common sense and are ability to think straight.

Keep a level head and coolness about you and be glad you found out now that things could not work out. You can go your separate ways, rebuild and live wonderful lives. Stay calm and be smart so, if and when you end up in a relationship that comes to an end, you won't do anything stupid.

Article also posted on Bukisa.com by Scott Hallock