Breaking Up a Wedding Can Be Quite Amusing for Everyone Involved

In the perfect world, everyone would fall madly in love with the person they are going to plan on spending the rest of their life with and the tale would end in the "happily ever after" way it does in storybooks. In the real world, the broken-hearted woman runs down the long, treacherous corridor leading to the altar only to fall flat on her face, literally, in front of all of her family, friends and loved ones. I must live in the real world.

I am a very passionate person. I happen to be compassionate as well. Somewhere between passion and compassion there is a gray area called..."will basically do anything to get back the love that mysteriously left me for another woman and I want him back." Phew. That's a mouthful.

Let's go back to the beginning. After he left me for another woman, I decided to take a little bit of time and become reflective. The stages of grief were long, tiresome and necessary at the end of the day (in retrospect). I was angry at the woman who stole my man, disappointed in the man who chose another woman, upset with myself for letting a good thing slip away, mad at the garbage man for accidentally taking the slippers that I threw into the garbage even though it wasn't his fault and Tuesday wasn't Monday and Wednesday wasn't pay day and on and on and on. I basically lived in "All My Children" land for about a year or so. Nothing made sense to me when he left and everything was a complete and utter disaster.

My closest friend from high school thought that it would be therapeutic for me to attend the wedding and give the happy couple my well wishes for a healthy and prosperous future filled with love and light. I just wanted to see what the b - I mean witch - was wearing. Let's just be honest. If the shoes were scuffed, the hair messy or the white dress was, well, white - I would've been a happy camper knowing that I won in the end and that he was getting someone far less than what he had when he had me. Needless to say, that didn't happen.

She was beautiful and wore a pearl flowing gown that led all the way behind her to the row in the very front of the room. The space was packed with people who loved her and wanted to wish her well. The bride's family was crying and laughing at the sight of the newlywed couple-to-be. The groom looked at her with teary eyes and a soft spot everyone could detect. It made me sick, I admit it. That's when I stood up and shouted at the top of my lungs, "no!" That didn't go over very well with the audience or with the bride and groom. Shocking. They ended up getting married and I ended up being embarrassed. Moral of the story? Don't break up a wedding.