Breastfeeding Your Baby the Private Way

I'm a mother of two boys. When I was pregnant with my oldest son, everyone wanted to know if I would be breastfeeding my son. The more I thought about it, the more I decided I did not want to breastfeed. I'm a private person, and the idea of exposing my breasts in public was not at all appealing to me. To me, no matter how much you cover yourself up with a blanket or whatever you have on hand, everyone still knows what you're doing. And, that is a big part of the embarrassment that often comes with breastfeeding. I found out by talking to other moms over the years that many women feel like I do, and that the fear of embarrassment or accidental nipple exposure keeps many moms from even giving breastfeeding a try.

When I was pregnant with my second son, I decided to try and figure this whole breastfeeding thing out. I read a lot of books on the subject, talked to my doctors, and also to other moms. I also thought a lot about myself and what my boundaries are in terms of my privacy and what I'm comfortable with. I discussed the topic with my husband and we decided on a plan that would work best for us.

If you want to breastfeed your baby, but want to maintain your privacy, you must set some ground rules and commit to never breaking those rules, no matter what. Here are the rules that we set for ourselves and our situation:

I will never breastfeed in public. It's not that I have a problem with women who do choose to breastfeed in public, because I don't. Personally, I am not and will not ever be comfortable with breastfeeding in front of strangers. So, to commit to this rule, I have to be prepared. When we travel, I make sure I have pumped breast milk, a freezer bag to keep the milk cool, and formula just in case an emergency arises and I run out of breast milk. I also have to be aware of the time, and how hungry my son is. This means, that I can't plan a trip where I'll be away from home for an extended period of time without being prepared. So, if it's time to leave a restaurant, we leave. We don't stay to chat with our friends for another hour or two.

I will never breastfeed in front of family or friends (except my husband and son). To me, breastfeeding is a personal experience and it's not meant to be shared in front of others. Enforcing this rule simply means that we set ground rules for our home and for guests. We let everyone know that if they wanted to visit the new baby, they had to call ahead and get the okay to come over. This rule also applied while we were in the hospital.

Pumping is your friend. Keep a hefty backup supply for emergencies. I was fortunate enough to have an overabundance of breast milk so I banked the excess in the freezer. I was able to feed my son and then pump after the feeding and produce enough milk from that pumping session for 2 more feedings. This backup supply enabled me to run errands and leave my son with my husband without worrying about him being hungry, because I knew he had plenty of breast milk at home.

I have found that simply setting these rules for breastfeeding has allowed me to feed my son my way. I have been able to breastfeed my son the healthiest milk possible. I have maintained my privacy and avoided embarrassing situations. I have been able to run to the grocery store or to the bank and not have to carry my son along if I needed a minute away. This experience has allowed me to continue to breastfeed my son, while maintaining my freedom and dignity. My youngest is now 8 months old and still breastfeeding. I know in my heart that breastfeeding him the private way has allowed me to continue nursing him. If I had chosen to breastfeed him in public, I know I would have weaned him shortly after birth. That way just wasn't for me. While I'm sure it works well for many women, I know that there are many women who are just like me and want to breastfeed without embarrassment. So, if you are one of those women, try to breastfeed your child the private way like I did. I bet you'll be glad that you did.