Breastfeeding: a Personal Story of Education and Triumph Through Common but Unknown Hardships

If I could sum up breastfeeding in the first few months of an infant's life in one word, I would have to choose the word "hard!" As a new mom, I felt that nursing my son should just happen naturally even though I had heard otherwise from girlfriends of mine. Boy was I wrong! In my instance there didn't seem to be anything natural about it. I went into it all a bit blindsided and found myself reaching out for help. This couldn't have saved me more!

Working with infants and toddlers, I knew full-well the benefits of breast milk. I was determined to nurse my son, but it didn't take long for me to realize that nursing was going to be a challenge for not only me, but my son also. The first day seemed to go well and then it all flipped upside down. We were still in the hospital when I was being woken nearly every hour because my son was so hungry. This didn't subside once we took him home. For those first few days it seemed that I lived in my rocking chair and that my son was either on my breast or sleeping. Yeah, kind of sounds like what a newborn should do, but I knew that something just wasn't right. It appeared that he'd latch on, but then he'd come off screaming! And boy did it hurt! It felt as if I was being stabbed throughout my entire breast! What in the world was that all about? I was so distraught I'd sit there in that rocking chair and just burst into tears, my husband at my side at a loss as to what to do to help me. A few days later we went to see our son's pediatrician. Milk leaking everywhere (how embarrassing), she watched my son nurse to see if she could help us at all. I had noticed that our son was tongue-tied (the frenulum, which is directly under the tongue holding it down, proceeded to almost the tip of his tongue, which limits movement), and she confirmed it. But she went a step farther in thinking that perhaps this could be effecting his latch and suck. At this point she gave me the numbers of a couple lactation consultants. It dawned on me, though, that two of my co-workers were Le Leche leaders. I immediately called one up as soon as I got back to the parking lot of the pediatrician's office and had my son in his infant seat. With pure luck, she was home. So here we go, me, my husband, and my son, to my co-workers home where I become very emotional, yet once again. With her help we realize that the tongue tie has absolutely nothing to do with our difficulties, but that he is simply not latching on correctly. She shows me how to lift my nipple upward with my fingers so that I may place it into the mouth and down on my son's tongue. It worked wonders! There he was, drinking away, and there I was, so very happy that he was doing so, but cringing at the pain (which I had also learned, although very unfortunate, was normal).

Now, I knew that leaking was very common among nursing mothers, but I was nowhere prepared to feel like a super soaker! I swear the first month of my son's life I was topless! I very well could have placed a bra and nursing pads on, but I leaked so much that it just went right through. So embarrassing when I was out in public! I eventually found that placing a towel under me when I went to sleep helped a lot. I would leak, of course, but I would leak right onto the towel instead of on my bed, which saved me a great deal of laundry. A blessing with a newborn.

My son was almost three weeks old when I spiked a fever one night. I went to bed very early and when I got up in the morning I noticed that I had a red, very hot to the touch, spot on my right breast. Mastitis. What an ugly word! Mastitis is a breast infection that I later learned was the cause of my fever. I was given a prescription by my OB/GYN and luckily that did the trick. Although Mastitis turns your milk a yellow sort of color and tends to taste a bit different to your child, it's perfectly safe for them to drink, and it is in fact recommended that you put them to the breast as often as possible as this will help you heal.

By week three of my son's life, I was still in so much pain with each and every nursing that I was entirely ready to give my son his first bottle. I pumped my milk and my husband gave him a four ounce bottle that he devoured within minutes. Within a week or so of pumping and giving my son a bottle as well as breastfeeding, I decided that I would commit to pumping only and have him drink from bottles. I figured this would help with my comfort as pumping caused no pain, and would satisfy my son also. And hey, my husband could now help with the feedings. A very added bonus!

I pumped approximately five times a day and my son drank solely from his bottle until he was three months old. At this time I was keeping track of how much milk I pumped versus how much milk he actually drank and I was noticing that he was at the point of drinking more than I was producing! It was right about this time that I joined an online breastfeeding support group and learned that pumping can decrease milk production. In a way, that is. Basically, your child sucks from your breast. The more they suck, the more your body is picking up on this, and therefor, the more it will produce to keep up with your child. But if you are like me and decide to pump, then you are probably pumping much less frequently and for a less amount of time than your infant would nurse, which will decrease your milk supply (as will the introduction of solid foods simply because they now spend time and belly space eating solid foods instead of breast milk). I also learned that pumping is not a good indicator at all as to how much milk you actually have. When your milk has stopped coming into the pump, that does not necessarily mean that you have no milk left in your breast. It's all dependent on how well your breast takes to the pump. Boy do I wish I would have learned this a couple months sooner. I decided to try my son at the breast again. My gosh am I glad I did! Not only did he latch on like a pro, but I had no pain. I was so happy!

I returned to work three days a week on my son's five-month birthday. I would nurse him before I left his daycare provider, pump a few times throughout the day, and then nurse him again when I went to pick him up. This worked well for us at this time.

My son is now 12 months old and although I have drastically reduced the time I spend nursing him because he is now on solid foods and cow's milk, I feel we're still going strong. Breastfeeding was a definite challenge for me in the beginning, but my advice to any mother who wants to nurse her child is simply stick with it. Find yourself a support group, whether it be Le Leche League, an online support group, or a nursing mom friend, and don't hesitate to ask them questions and to vent your frustrations when they come about. Breastfeeding is a learning process for both you and your baby, but you can definitely do it!