Breastfeeding: Is it Supposed to Hurt This Much?

The first time I heard someone say, "Breastfeeding, if done correctly, should never be painful." I laughed out loud. When my first child was born, I approached breastfeeding with all of the commitment and determination of an educated, breastfeeding-information-enlightened mother. I read everything I could get my hands on about the subject, took the class, talked with doctors and friends, scoured the internet, and I was ready.

Before my child was born, the advice I received ran the gamut from, "Start toughening up your breasts in the shower," to "It should only be sore for the first day or two." The truth? Truly excruciating pain for the first three weeks of my son's life. I can just hear Dr. Sears saying, "Well, then you were not breastfeeding correctly." I had the lactation specialists, the midwife, the nurses, the diagrams, everything, and it didn't make a bit of difference.

I do not say this to discourage anyone from breastfeeding. Indeed, I nursed my first child for a year and I am still nursing my second at sixteen months. I am a strong advocate for breastfeeding, but I don't think we do pregnant moms any favors by insisting they will have a trouble-free experience. It is much better to know what you might expect at the beginning of nursing so that you can be mentally prepared. If you go into nursing expecting no pain, only mother/baby bliss, you might be begging for a bottle of formula by day two in the hospital.

Many women may not experience severe pain during the early weeks of breastfeeding, I have talked to a few of them. However, I have talked to many more moms who have experienced at least some discomfort for a few weeks. No matter what you have read or heard, every woman's body is different, and as such, will respond uniquely to the initiation of breastfeeding. When my children (I had equal pain with both) latched on, I would experience a very strong burning sensation that would last until let-down. I would literally ask people not to speak to me for a few moments after I put baby to breast. This was magnified with my second baby, who had a very strong sucking reflex. I did as I was told, I took them off and tried getting them to latch on again, seeing if their mouths would open any wider. I had no success. I lived for lanolin applications and felt depressed when my babies ate only 1 1/2 or 2 hours apart.

If you experience pain like I did, do not let it undermine your confidence. If your baby's mouth is open wide and you are holding him in a relaxed position, that is probably all you can do. Don't listen to people who tell you that you must be doing it "wrong." Every woman's body is different and it takes some time to adapt to the rigors of breastfeeding.

My advice? Don't give up right away! Resolve to give it at least a month before you quit putting baby to breast. Your body will probably adapt by this time and breastfeeding will become much more enjoyable. I also strongly advise you do not go to pumping over breastfeeding on a regular basis. Though you may try to pump when your pain has become truly intolerable, to do so on a regular basis will threaten your ability to go back to putting baby to breast. However, if you are on the verge of stopping breastfeeding because of the pain, it is much better to exclusively pump and give your milk to your baby than it is to make the switch to formula.

Mothering is full of trials and sacrifices. If you are able to breastfeed pain-free soon after your baby is born, I am happy for you. However, pregnant women who are committed to breastfeeding should know that they may endure some pain and discomfort for a time. This is not meant to discourage, but rather to prepare you to bolster your determination for breastfeeding success.