Breath

when everything is done
and the words lie tarnished on the floor
unsaid
will the last thing i heard from you
die?

yellow flower crowns and looking up
at the clouds
strips of leather and
picnics in the dark and
nights in the basement
sharing a beer and a pipe and thoughts on
evolution
and time
and god (you pro-, i anti-)

lucky charms straight out of the box
and sucking on twizzlers in the smoke haze
we lived in
liquor breath and sharing tattered blankets
red glow of a marlboro back and forth
the only light
between us.

you changed when we did
when it became
more than only us.

they caught you
brown glass bottles and vials of pills
fighting your mind
and nothing could keep you safe
anymore.

standing in the doorway
scared
my friend on the floor
nothing but shadows and angles and no light reflecting
off the garbage around you
nothing to light up your world
i tried to bring you back
like i always could before

and then
good night
i love you
i always will
and then nothing
but a rope and a call
and i am sitting in the grass again
dr. pepper and chili cheese fritos
yellow flowers in the grass
over your grave

and i don't think about it much, now
but when i am fighting off
the same things that stole you
i miss the sound
of your voice
and the fact of your
breath
in my world.