Bride and Bridesmaid??

As if planning a wedding weren't enough, it seems that all of your friends are getting married at the same time! "Wedding Season" is in full swing and paths can cross no matter when your big day falls on the calendar. Fitting a Saturday wedding in here or there before your own isn't really a big deal, but what if you're asked to be more than a guest? Is it crazy to be a bridesmaid just before or after you're a bride? No. Friendship is all about being flexible, being there for each other, and just plain having fun. So when you and your friend realize that your aisle runners are running side-by-side, relax.

You already know that it takes a lot of planning to make the wedding of your dreams a reality. And, as you may have already experienced, that can be very stressful. Add a bridesmaid stint and you may get a headache just thinking about the whole ordeal. This is a joyous time for everyone, and what better way to bring your friendship closer than to share anniversaries for the rest of your lives? The trick to making it all work is to breathe deep and be prepared ahead of time. Strong communication between you and your friend will be very important to ensure that both brides are ready for their days and bridezillas are kept at bay.

Here are ten tips that will help you and your friend to plan smoothly:

1. Do as much as you can as early as you can. Things like favors can be made far in advance and stored. The earlier you book a DJ, caterer, baker, photographer, etc, the better price you're apt to get too.

2. Work together. Carpool to dress shops, the beauty salon, the gym, wherever. Update each other on details of both events. Share tips on good deals, great ideas and poor advice to be wary of.

3. Be flexible. Remember that each of you is also a bride and has other obligations.

4. Get together with the guys just for fun. Constant planning will drag you down, take time out for a double date and remember why you're going to all this trouble in the first place.

5. Don't sweat the small stuff. All you really need to get married is you, the groom, and the officiant. Everything else is just gravy - don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

6. Write things down. Whether you buy a fancy computer program or rip out the freebie planner from a magazine, have one place to document everything. A calendar checklist is a great tool to keep you on track and help you get ahead of schedule.

7. Be creative. Unique doesn't mean expensive, simple can be beautiful. DIY invitations, favors and centerpieces cut down on costs and can be put together far in advance.

8. Delegate. Put trusted friends and relatives in charge of small tasks- everything from picking up the dresses to decorating the facility.

9. Read the fine print. Often your reception site will help more than you think by setting up centerpieces, arranging favors and place cards or even orchestrating the gift table. Take full advantage of their services-you are paying for them after all.

10. Have fun! Nothing about your preparations should have you second guessing the day and the great time you're going to have. Do the best that you can before hand and then enjoy being a bridesmaid AND a bride, or vise-versa. You'll have great memories (and stories to tell) for the rest of your lives.

Carol McCarthy will be married on September 21, 2008 after being a bridesmaid at her friends' wedding the day before. That bride will become Carol's bridesmaid as well. Carol has been called crazy more than once, but thus far has stayed on top of the stress and is looking forward to the best days of her life (and the vacation that follows). Once back home in Farmington, NH, she'll continue her freelance career as Carol Corbett.

Originally published in NH Wedding Magazine 2008.