Bride's Guide to Writing Wedding Vows

Wedding vows are the most important part of any ceremony. Some couples are deciding to break with the traditional "love, honor and cherish" vows for something more meaningful and personal. Writing your own wedding vows is an excellent way to express personal feelings, love and commitment for your fiancé; it's also a great way to personalize the ceremony for the wedding guests.

Writing Your Own Wedding Vows - Plan

The key to writing your own wedding vows is to plan. Imagine you are writing a paper or speech for a class in school. Teachers suggest making outlines and then going back and filling the details. For instance, you could outline what your life was before your fiancé, what it's been since meeting and being together and finally, the hopes you have for the future as a couple. It is better to decide on three or four points and then go back and fill in the specific details.

Writing Your Own Wedding Vows - Decide on a Tone

Couples can decide to write wedding vows together with your fiancé or separately. The Knot suggests writing vows together or repeating the same vows if you feel too nervous or think you'll be too overcome with emotion to deliver your own words. If you decide to write wedding vows separately, decide on the tone of those vows together. I can't imagine anything more embarrassing that writing a humorous set of wedding vows when your fiancé writes something very affectionate and romantic. It's important to have an idea of what the other person is planning to say when you go to write your own wedding vows.

Writing Your Own Wedding Vows - Choosing Material

The Knot has some excellent ideas for helping you decide what memories and stories to include in your wedding vows. You may also choose to include a Bible passage or short poetry into your vows. One of the most commonly used Bible passages comes from I Corinthians 13:1-13 where it speaks of love for one another. If you choose scripture or short poetry to use in your wedding vows, be sure you understand the passage very well which will help you elaborate on what those words mean to you and your marriage.

Writing Your Own Wedding Vows - Perfect the Timing

Even though you are head-over-heels in love with your fiancé, the wedding ceremony is not the time for a fifteen-minute speech on what makes him the perfect man. If you find you have several minutes of memories that you'd like to incorporate in your wedding vows, choose the most important one or two and make it concise. When you deliver your wedding vows, it should not top over two minutes at the very most. If you time two minutes, you'll actually find that it is a good length of time to get your ideas across without boring your wedding guests to tears.

If you still find there is much more you'd like to say to your fiancé than what you can squeeze into wedding vows, give him a handwritten letter or journal full of your thoughts, your promises and love for him. The gift is something you both can go back and look at years later and rekindle some of the special feelings from your wedding day.

Writing Your Own Wedding Vows - Memorize

It is extremely important to memorize your vows as much as possible. Memorize the key points and phrases that will help you recall stories or memories. You want to focus all of your attention on your fiancé, which helps reinforce your words with him.

The most important thing to remember when writing your own wedding vows is to make every word sincere and from the heart. Wedding vows symbolize your love and commitment to your fiancé and your own vows should echo that sentiment. Planning, deciding on a tone, and choosing the right material along with the right timing and memorization will ensure that you have a perfect wedding day.