Brief News: America Chastised for Playing Supercop

The city of Earth suffered a tremendous setback late Thursday when its favorite citizen, young little America, was grounded for one whole week due to her bad habit of playing Supercop despite numerous warnings to stop.

"I've absolutely had it with her ass!" her father exclaimed to reporters. "No matter how many times I lecture her, she just doesn't get it."

Every time he lets her out to play, she goes out of her way to help random people throughout the neighborhood. Though he's certainly impressed with her humanitarian nature, her exploits are costing the family an egregious amount of money.

"Just last week, America took over $200 from our family piggybank to buy a ladder so she could get old Miss Libya's cat out of a tree," her father said, wiping tears of frustration from his eyes. "If she keeps this up, we won't even have enough money left to get our own little kiddy cat, Miss Perty, from out a tree, let alone feed her!"

America has thus far not been taking the news well. According to her father, she's been stomping her feet on the ground, making mean faces, and even yelling out naughty curse words. He hopes that, in due time, she calms down and realizes the lesson.

"If not," he said, "then I'll have no choice but to whoop that ass!"

Moral of the story: I feel for the people of Libya, but if we don't stop policing the world, we may one day end up being the ones who need policing. You know, instead of starting more and more wars, how about we END some wars!?