Brief News: Gang of Ryde-Or-Die Chicks Take Over K97.5 Radio Station

North Carolina--Four young ladies have taken over Raleigh's only hiphop station, K97.5 WQOK, and threatened to cut off the genitals of the lead disc jockey, DJ Showtime, unless he gives them permanent positions as DJs. The whole fiasco started earlier last week when Showtime, aka 'The Talk of the Town,' started allowing select local residents to visit the station and play along for a half-hour as guest DJs for the station's 'Top 8 @ 8 Countdown.'

"Most of the folks who I invited to the studio had a great time and left without complaints," Showtime told reporters during a five minute phone conversation that the ladies allowed him to make. "But not Tonyetta, Darlene, Maria, and Liling; them crazy broads, and I don't mean that in a positive way, just didn't let go!"

According to Showtime, the four "psycho broads" broke into the studio late Friday evening, locked his co-hosts Nikki Nicole and Brian Dawson in a closet, and then took him hostage in the main studio room, where they've been playing their "Top 8" lists over and over again ever since in an attempt to weaken his resolve.

"Look, they can keep playing their songs and they can even cut off my genitals, but I am not hiring them!"

"You hear me, you psycho broads; I am not hiring you!" Showtime was heard screaming through the phone before the line suddenly went dead.

In Related News: Local DJ's penis found floating down Falls Lake.

Moral of the story: This stupid, hurriedly written piece was designed to make fun of Showtime's tendency to only bring in female guest DJs. Don't get me wrong, though, because I don't blame the brother a single bit. Get that 'ish, bruh bruh! But just watch out cuz some these ryde or die chicks str8 up CRAZZZYYYY, son! They so ''hungry' for stardom they'll str8 up chop off your junk and take a bite out of it!