Brief News: Man Laughs Himself to Death Due to Former Landlord's Antics

Raleigh, NC--Former Winchester townhouse resident Victor Alowishus Jones suffered a fatal heart attack at 4:00 pm Thursday afternoon after having laughed too hard and for too long at his former landlord's ridiculous antics.

According to Victor's best friend, Sheila Jenkins, his former landlord gave him a sudden, out-of-nowhere eviction notice two weeks ago and then completely ignored all his attempts to negotiate a new lease. This greatly angered Victor, but he had no choice at the time but to put up with it.

"Then two days after Victor moved out, the jerk had the nerve to text him and demand that he pay such and such money for purported damage to the home," Sheila explained. "That's when Victor started laughing."

Sheila went on to explain how Victor replied by telling his former landlord to "suck his juicy something," after which the landlord had his great-grand mother call Victor on a private line and claim that there was a warrant out for his arrest as per some stolen property.

"It was at that moment that Victor's laughter, which had been going on for several days at this point, turned into a giant, deadly guffaw," Sheila said, shaking her head in dismay. "I tried to tell him to stop and get it together, but it was too late; he keeled over and died from literally laughing himself to death."

Moral of the story: You ain't getting no money from me! Take me to court if you'd like, but remember that I'm Asian, and to an Asian, a 'little black book' refers to a telephone directory featuring all of our family friends who hold positions of power, i.e., lawyers!