Brief News: Obama Faces Many Questions Regarding 'Operation Ice Cream'
"So many unresolved questions still remain," Ohio Democrat Dennis Kucinich grumbled to reporters. "Why do they need to collect ice cream when it's still snowing outside? Where should they store all this ice cream? And what type of ice cream do they need to collect? Snow cones? Floats? Soufflés? Gelatos? Sherbets? Sorbets? Sundaes?"
He continued, "I mean, what the hell?"
Despite the many questions, President Obama has yet to provide a clear reason for the initiative. Some politicians suspect that Obama is trying to save Americans from experiencing a brain freeze, but most believe that Obama is attempting to destroy the ice cream industry by buying so much ice cream that Ben and Jerry are left with nothing to sell.
"None of it makes any sense," MSNBC political analyst Pat Buchanan remarked on Friday's edition of 'Morning Joe.' "Why does Obama have our Marines scouring the United States for ice cream when he could have just sent someone to shoot Ben and Jerry, and been done with it all?"
There has been some talk on Capitol Hill of sending French mercenaries to assassinate the two, but even that idea displeased Buchanan.
"That's like expecting a dumbass dog to unwind itself from a tree; it's just not happening."
Moral of the story: What's our end goal for Libya!?
Published by V Saxena
Upbringing: I am a 28 year old heterosexual male from Raleigh, North Carolina. I was raised in America and intend to bring up my children as proud Americans, because I am defined by neither my past nor th... View profile
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