Brief News: Obama to Trump - Take Off the Wig

Washington-President Barack Obama has called on U.S. business mogul Donald Trump to take off his wig and reveal to America that he's "in fact balder than a monkey's ass."

"Look, I've seen a lot of wigs and weaves in my day," Obama said Thursday on ABC's 'The View,' nodding his head at his wife Michelle, who replied with a quick flick of her middle finger, "and I'm 100% positive that the thing on the Donald's head is either a wig or a chipmunk in hibernation."

A self-proclaimed 'baldino,' Obama is one of hundreds of democrats who believe that Trump went bald in the late 80s, but is too craven to admit it. Trump has denied the allegations and even successfully passed a DNA hair test, but the issue continues to haunt him on the job front nonetheless.

"I was trying to negotiate this 20 million dollar real estate contract with this guy, but he kept asking me whether my hair is real," Trump complained to reporters. "Even after I showed him my DNA test results, the crazy bastard still didn't believe me!"

He continued, "I mean, what the hell do I have to do to prove this is my real hair?"

Moral of the story: You ain't the only "smart guy" who can peddle bullshit, Baldie Mc Fattie Burger!