Brief News: Parents Really Pissed at Toddler for Pulling a Newt Gingrich
Named after Republican politician Newt Gingrich, who is known to flip flop more than Elliot Spitzer caught in a sting, a 'Newt Gingrich' refers to the act of changing one's mind for no valid reason whatsoever.
"Two weeks ago, the little bastard started crying and throwing a fit because he wanted a Harry Potter Hogwarts Castle LEGO set, so we finally got him one today," Alvin fumed, his hands wound up in fists. "And now, all of a sudden, he doesn't want one anymore!"
He continued, "Now the little piece of shit-I should have used a condom-wants a friggen Yogi Bear doll instead!"
After calmly discussing the situation, Alvin and Janette eventually decided to give in and get Leroy the doll he wanted, but by then, he wanted a stuffed animal instead.
Leroy has since been put up for adoption.
Moral of the story: America can see right through you, Newtie Pie Honey Bun. I suggest you stop bullshitting, lest we let the Chinese adopt your tubby ass.
Published by V Saxena
Upbringing: I am a 28 year old heterosexual male from Raleigh, North Carolina. I was raised in America and intend to bring up my children as proud Americans, because I am defined by neither my past nor th... View profile
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