Bringing Sexy Back - when Your Spouse Feels Less Than Hot (from the Innerwife)

To you, your wife or husband is God's gift! They're beautiful or handsome, photo-shoot-worthy and totally hot! However, to themselves, they're ugly. They're too-this or too-that. Your beloved sees themselves as anything but attractive. As this lack of self-esteem is hard enough on your spouse, this negativity will drain your relationship, both emotionally and physically. So being that this is their problem, what can YOU do?

Begin with sincere compliments. False comments and exaggerated fawning and gushing will fail in helping your partner's sexiness and result in backfire and insult. Put strong focus on what made you love them and what still keeps you going. Avoid focusing on the past as that could make them feel compared.

Watch what media fills your house. If your wife feels unattractive, your having magazines with fantasy women all over it will drive her deeper into her sorrow. Same goes for husbands if you constantly put romance novels, movies and other items that show the supermen of a woman's desires. Be exceptionally careful of pornography and the messages that could send your spouse.

Use advance foreplay! Start the sexiness in advance by placing sexy notes in their lunch bag, kisses without leading to sex and even coupons for various "activities." These and other little jumpstarts over a time period can start them to warming themselves up while you remain ready.

Lead by example. Be sexy yourself. If both parties are struggling in a relationship, there is no one to help repair it. Keep your energy levels up, stay healthy and work on exerting sexy energy yourself. Your positivity can be an anchor for your partner and a good place to start.