Bristol Palin Faking Pregnancy for Mother?

According to rumors circulating on the internet, the recent revelation that Republican Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin's unmarried 17-year-old daughter Bristol Palin is pregnant is just a clever ploy hiding the truth about Alaskan Governor Palin's own pregnancy. The website Pollhalljunkies.com is reporting that Bristol Palin's pregnancy may just be an elaborate hoax conspired by the McCain Palin ticket to woo two critical blocks of voters: anti-abortion conservatives and those alienated moderate women who might've supported Hillary Clinton in the primaries.

"It only makes sense that Hillary voters would be attracted to philandering infidelity," wrote one Mississippian on the pollhalljunkies blog. "After all, Hillary herself is married to a philanderer."

"I can understand Sarah Palin hiding her sixth pregnancy. She probably doesn't want people to assume she's Catholic." writes another supporter.

This latest rumor follows a similar rumor, since refuted by the McCain-Palin campaign, that Sarah Palin faked her last pregnancy in April to cover up for Bristol's. Critics wondered why she hid that pregnancy for seven months before coming clean to her constituents. Many also were asking why she took an eight hour plane trip back to Alaska after her water broke in Texas without notifying any of the airline staff to her eleventh hour of pregnancy instead of rushing to the nearest hospital. But such questions can be reasonably answered if one considers the subpar condition of the hospitals in Texas. Supporters have said that for this reason alone, she ought to be considered the real Maverick of the Republican ticket. If the rumors about Trig being Sarah's grandson are true, daughter Bristol owes her mom "big time," as those of her generation might say. And this, contends the speculators, may be her way of paying mom back and keeping her allowance intact.

There are many other speculations floating around cyberspace regarding the Palin's potential progeny. Her daughter's pregnancy, whether genuine or not, helps portray Palin as a modern day woman dealing with modern day issues. Nevermind that she's opposed sex education in our schools as recently as 2006. Nevermind that she opposes a woman's right to choose to terminate a pregnancy, even in cases of rape and incest. The pregnancy clouded in mystery is reminiscent of a more conservative time when pregnant girls were hidden from the public eye, sent away to "study abroad" only to magically reappear, albeit less heavy and irritable, several months later. While neither Sarah Palin nor her daughter aren't exactly being sent away, her bun in the oven condition (whomever's it may be) casts her as a hero for pro-life women across the nation. It's a win-win for Sarah Palin.

Some cynics even theorize that the emergence Bristol's teenage boyfriend is no coincidence. Of course he will marry her, the campaign quickly assured us. He even joined the family for the convention in Minnesota, unselfishly falling behind in his homework to do so. But his obvious good looks and physique lend a helping hand in wooing the older teeny bop vote, according to political analyst Ted Middlesworth. Those recently registered to vote eighteen year old girls who grew up drooling over the Backstreet Boys and Justin Timberlake have a political hottie to throw their hearts, and more importantly, their votes to. And his name is Levi Johnston.

But all of this speculation, it's important to remember, is just that: speculation. As of this writing, there is no proof to substantiate any of these rumors floating around the world wide web. In fact, only one comment from the pollhalljunkies.com blog cannot be disputed:

No one can accuse those Palin girls of being frigid.