Britney Shaves More Skin

Crawling ever deeper into the rabbit hole, Britney Spears was spotted with a new 'do reminiscent of her recent boyfriends, and this time the shaved skin is FCC approved. The washed up pop princess has been involved in a series of bizarre behaviors lately, from kicking K-Fed to curb (probably the most normal thing she's done), to parting ways with panties, and has provided paycheck-a-plenty for the paparazzi. But her recent stint of head-scratching fodder marks the apex of what some call "a huge celebrity on the verge of a nervous breakdown."(Monsters)

Emily Wynn-Hughes, employee of the tattoo shop where Britney was captured bald for the first time on film, says that Britney "just wasn't making a sense at all... she was a total nightmare to deal with." When asked why she shaved her head, Brit-insiders quote the wayward star as saying, "I don't want anyone touching me. I'm sick of everybody touching me." (Monsters) Sounds like someone's getting sick of being a Slave 4 Evry1 in Hollywood.

During that same fateful month of February, the Toxic singer was seen swapping clothes with a stripper in a New York nightclub. The lack-of-material girl strutted around like a pro, wearing nothing but "a bikini under a white busboy coat"(Askmen.com). A few days earlier, she was caught falling asleep at a Vegas nightclub, and was spotted as a pupil of pole dancing pal Paris Hilton. And just a few days before she went hairless (on her head, that is), she checked in - and promptly out of - rehab (a couple of times).

Spears' former personal assistant, Felicity Culotta, wrote in her online blog that she has been trying to help the Crazy crooner, adding, " I cannot save her from herself"(People.com). Too bad, because pretty soon it looks like the law will have to lay its hand.

When newly bald Britney flogged a passenger car with an umbrella, it became apparent that this woman is not fit - at least at this time - to be a parent. Considering Brit was basically a clay blob for the star system to manufacture at the age of fourteen, it is no wonder that she's acting like a rebellious teenager at the age of 24 and during the downward spiral that is (or was) her career.

Speaking of career malfunctions, Kevin Federline is the man-boy who fathers Britney's two babies. And although we can all poke fun at Federline (what did he actually sing, anyway... something bout bitches and bling... it somehow eludes me), his ex missus' behavior lately may grant K-Fed primary time with the youngsters. And if he manages to screw it up, perhaps we will see Paris signing adoption papers soon.

All of this seems like a rerun of Michael Jackson's escapade into lunacy. He dangled his bundle of joy over a balcony; Britney held one on her lap, unrestrained, while driving. It is impossible to say what will become of these kids, but look at Anna Nicole's son, who modeled his mother's behavior, and died of an overdose. The Spears-Federline offspring are still young enough to have a fighting chance (not too sure about Michael's), but not if their parents are too busy obsessing about themselves, acting out as regular party favors at the late-night hot spots.

And if you find yourself still reading this, you have to wonder, why do the train wrecks mesmerize us? We make the models for our culture: it is us who made Paris Hilton famous for starring in her own (lame) sex tape; we made the world love Anna Nicole Smith for her plastic life and plastic body; and it is our fault that Britney Spears is famous for showing off more skin than her mommy would have ever liked to see. The awful things are just that: awe-full. Be it hurricanes or head-shaves, we just can't seem to look away from disaster.

Why doesn't her mother - who benefited quite nicely from pushing her pop princess into talent-less fame and fortune - make her daughter get some help? I suppose then we wouldn't have the sad story of Spears to surprise us in the tabloid aisle of the grocery store, brandishing an umbrella and sporting crotchless chaps, screaming "Why is everyone always looking at me?"

The real tragedy in all of this is not that the ingénue has completely lost it, or even that she nearly escaped it when she kicked out K-Fed, but that she has two innocent children being largely neglected by both parents. What will become of them? Will they fall from the burden of being Britney's progeny? Are they too being groomed to be train wrecks-in-waiting? I hope not. I do hope, for their sakes, that their parents will give them the love and care that any child deserves -before it's too late. Behave Britney, behave.

http://people.monstersandcritics.com/news/article_1265062.php/Britney_goes_completely_Sin%E9ad

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20012207_20012195,00.html