Bubba Meets National Health Care

Well, I were all excited that they done pass this new health care bill and so what I done is call my Congressman up - Congressman Bambozzle. Here is what we done talked about:

Congressman Bamboozle, this here is Bubba. I jest want to thank you for passing this here bill and now we kin get coverage. In fact Paw broke his leg yesterday, stumbled coming out of the outhouse and that leg just snapped like a twig and we is planning to take him to the hospital today. Maybe tomorrow 'cause we need to get some money up for gas for the truck.

What? You mean that we ain't insured yet Mr. Bambozzle? But I done heard that the health care bill was passed and millions of poor Americans will be covered. I is proud to be a poor American.

What, it won't be in effect for four more years? Hang on the phone for a sec, will you...

Pa, I got some bad news for you. Let me put it this way, just how broken is your leg? Can you wait four years?

Gosh Mr. Bamboozle, Pa is might upset. But don't you worry none. I set my cousin's leg last year and one foot points north and one foot points south, but she gets along just fine, even though she tends to walk in circles. We don't send her out for groceries as it takes her forever to walk to town and back.

What's that Pa? You ain't letting me touch your leg? Well, dang it, you can just hop for four years. That's what the govment says.

No, Mr. Bamboozle, we ain't got any health insurance. Nope, we don't buy no medicine, but we find that moonshine does just fine as a pain killer. In fact Paw is on his second jug this morning. But it would be nice to have one of them prescription drug programs. We can? When?

Four years?

Well, let me ask one more question. Granny seems to be a bit ill the last year, in fact, every time she chases Grandpaw around with a frying pan, she can't catch him no more. And Grandpaw ain't exactly the quickest critter in the wood, seeing how his foot got caught in that bear trap last year, then got infected, and then we had to cut it off with the chain saw. But now if Grandpaw gets his other foot caught in a trap, I can just tell him to wait four years and the govment will take care of it. That is mighty comforting to know.

Anyway, Granny after chasing Grandpaw ,gets a might short of breath and her heart starts pounding something fierce.

What's that Mr. Bamboozle? You think she should see a doctor. That's's what I done told her . When kin she a doctor Mr. Bamboozle.

Four years. .Hang on..

Granny, good news you kin see a doctor in four years. You might want to lay off those segars till then.

One more thing Mr. Bamboozle. My son done has two crossed eyes and he keeps bumping into things. Will the new health care bill let the govment uncross his eyes?

He will be completely covered. When?

Four years.

Well, that ain't no probem, He can keep wearing that helmet till then. That way he don't bang his head up so much when he runs into things. I knew we never should have let him drive, but he were 10 and all his friends was driving ...

Well, Mr. Bamboozle, we sure do live in a great counrty and I is glad tthat we done pass health care and I will jest make sure that no one else gets hurt for four years.

Son, go put on your helmet!