Buddhist, Hindu, and Christian Wedding Traditions

An important step in a person's life is the day that they get married. Wedding traditions differ in each religion. While all include reciting religious rites, there are many differences in weddings in the Buddhist, Hindu, and Christian ceremonies. Then again, taking a look at these three religions shows that they bare similarities despite their differences.

The Hindu marriage is also called a Vivaha. While the ceremony includes the exchange or rings and vows, it also includes a series of other rituals that make up the greater part of the ceremony (home 1). Out of the three different ceremonies (Buddhist, Hindu, and Christian) this wedding seems to be the most extensive. The wedding is looked at as the joining of husband and wife and the joining of two families together. Picking a day to marry requires consulting a calendar. There are certain days in which it is prohibited to be married on (confetti). The ceremony begins by invoking the blessings of Lord Ganesha. Lord Ganesha is a Hindu deity who has an elephant head in the place of his own head. He has an elephant head because his father decapitated him with an axe and then replaced his head with the head of the first animal he saw.

Then seven married ladies make the Ganesh sigh on a pot of misri. The seven ladies then ask Lord Ganesha to bless the couple and bless the ceremony. These same ladies sew designs on a white piece of cloth to ward off any evil eyes cast on the couple, or Nazar. The couple wears this cloth on their wedding day.

Another ritual that takes place is a puja. This is performed by the couple and their parents. Together they welcome God in different forms and ask for his blessings. The couple and their parents pray to Lord Ganesha, Varun Devta, Laxmi and Narayan, the Gods that govern the 9 planets, and Om.

The prayer given to the Gods of the nine planets is believed to have great effect on the destiny of the bride and groom. It is believed in the Hindu religion that the planets of our Solar System have great influence on the destiny of every person. Later, the couple exchanges garlands as a symbol of welcoming each other into their lives. This is known as Varmala.

Much like in a Christian and Buddhists ceremonies, rings are exchanged. The idea of this ritual is that gold lasts forever and the gold rings represent a long life together. The rings are placed on the fourth finger of the hand because it is believed that there is a vein that leads from this finger to the heart. When the rings are placed on both the left hands of the bride and groom it forms a complete heart.

After the rings are exchanged the groom's family places gifts on the bride's lap. This is to symbolize their acceptance of her into their family. Also, it is a symbol of bestowing the bride with happiness and prosperity.

The groom's family then gives and recites a promise of marriage and feeds misri to the bride's family. This confirms the engagement. Misri is a crystalline sugar. Eating anything sweet is considered auspicious to Hindus and therefore is eaten on all happy occasions. This completes the ceremony of exchanging the rings.

Next in the Hindu ceremony is the ritual of painting hands and feet, or Mehndi. This tradition takes place in the late afternoon. Primarily, this is a tradition that includes female friends and family but male relatives may also attend. During the Mendhi, the bride's hands and feet are painted with paste made of henna, oil, lemon juice and water tinted with tea. The process of painting the bride takes about four hours to complete. When the paste has completely dried the bride may then wash her hands. The Mendhi tradition signifies the strength of love in the marriage. The strength of love in the marriage depends on the color of the Mehndi. A dark color signifies stronger love.

Another tradition that strengthens the tie of the bride to her new family is the Sagri. The groom's female relatives visit the bride-to-be in her home. They string together perfume, cosmetics, and flowers in the form of earrings, bangles, hairpieces, and garlands. The bride will then wear these items.

The next Hindu wedding tradition is the Ghari Puja. This is performed on the eve of the wedding day at the homes of the couple. There the priest performs prayers with rice, coconut, wheat grains, oil, betel nuts, turmeric, and other spices. Married ladies use a small grinder to grind wheat. This symbolizes that the home will always prosper. The groom offers grains to the priest to indicate that he will always give to charity and look after the less fortunate.

The mothers of the bride and the groom dress up in their bridal finery and carry an earthen pot of water on their heads. They walk to the threshold of their homes and the son-in-law of the families cut the water with a knife to ward off evil spirits. Friends and family then give flowers and money to the parents of the bride and groom. The last ritual is that the bride and groom wear old clothes that are torn off by their friends and family. This ritual illustrates the end of their old lives (house 1).

Much like a Christian marriage ceremony the Hindu people believe that it is unlucky for the bride and groom to see each other before their wedding begins. When the groom arrives at the wedding the bride's mother gives him flowers and places a red dot on his forehead. This symbolizes that she accepts the marriage of her daughter to him. The flowers that his soon to be mother-in-law give him are in the form of a garland that is worn around his neck. Friends and family at the wedding play a game where they try to steal the garland and demand the groom to pay a ransom to get it back (Confetti). Another tradition is for the bride's sisters and cousins to try to steal the groom's shoes. These are also exchanged for money (Red Hot Curry).

On the day of the wedding the first event that takes place is called the Swagatam, or the welcome. The bride dresses up in her wedding ensemble and is escorted to the groom who is waiting at the bride's house (house 1). The bride traditionally wears a white sari that has been embroidered with red and gold. This is traditionally given to her by uncles. The groom's family gives the bride a red sari to wear during the ceremonies. The white sari that is given by the bride's uncles symbolizes purity while the red symbolized fertility (Confetti). The groom will meet the bride at the entrance and place his right foot on top of the bride's foot. This symbolizes that he dominates their life together. The bride's parents will then rinse the groom's feet with milk and water. Due to all of the prayers that have taken place before this moment, the groom is thought to be the embodiment of Lord Vishnu.

Once the wedding ceremony has actually begun the Hathialo, or joining of the hands is the first ritual that takes place. During this part of the ceremony the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf that the groom is wearing. The couple's right hands are tied together with a thread that has been blessed with religious incantations. Much like the two gold rings that they will wear on their left hands, the tying of their hands signifies an eternal bond between the husband and the wife.

Much like the Christian and Buddhist weddings, a priest performs the ceremony in the presence of friends and relatives. The bride and groom sit in front of a holy fire while the priest recites from the Holy Scriptures. The fire is considered the sustainer of life. Hindu people believe that the gods and goddesses sit around the fire also. During this part of the ceremony family members give offerings into the fire. The couple then walks around the fire four times while exchanging vows of duty, love, fidelity, respect, and a fruitful union (House 1). The ritual of walking around the fire is called Lawan Phere. Each walk around the fire symbolizes one of the four human goals in Hinduism. These include faith, financial stability, procreation, and liberation of the soul.

The most important part of the ceremony is where the bride and groom face north and take a few steps together. This signifies that they are asking God to bless their marriage in aspects of strength, food, progeny, family, prosperity, happiness and life-long friendship This ritual is called Saptapadi. Once the Saptapadi is complete the next ritual is the Saubhagya Chinya. During the Saubhagya Chinya the groom places the holy red powder on his bride's forehead and gives her a necklace of black beads. The black beads symbolize his love and devotion to her.

The groom will then places the bride's hand on his forehead to show that he accepts her as his wife. He is showing that he accepts her in better or worse, in health or sickness and that it is their destiny to be married. Their heads are then held together to imply that they are one in body, mind, and in spirit from that day on.

There are several blessings and ceremonies that follow the wedding. There is the Kanya Daan where the bride's parents entrust the bride to the groom and his family. The Ashirwaad is a blessing given by the priest. The priest explains that the couple has responsibilities to each other. They are blessed and the marriage is complete.

Once the marriage has been completed friends and family will greet the couple. They will then proceed to the groom's home where at the entrance of their new home the groom's parents will rinse the bride's feet. With her new family she will pick up a handful of salt and place it in her husband's hands. He will then pass the salt back into his bride's hands without spilling any. The bride and groom do this three times then this is done with all of the members of the groom's family. This signifies that the bride will be as the salt is. The salt blends in and adds flavor to food. The bride is also to blend in and become a part of her new family.

They will have a feast and play many games. During this part of the ceremony threads with knots are tied around their wrists (Confetti). A few days after the wedding the bride will return to her parent's home and these threads will be cut off. This ritual is performed by the priest (Wedding Details). When the ceremony is over the groom will lead the bride to the car. The bride's brother or another male relative will cover her with a shawl. The couple then leaves and stops at a temple to pray and seek blessings. From there they go to the groom's home (Confetti).

The morning after the wedding the Mandap Ceremony takes place. The husband applies vermillion on his wife's forehead to symbolize that she is married. Then in the presence of a priest the couple worships the Sun God. They seek blessings from elders and return to the groom's house.

When they arrive at the groom's house women pour water on the ground under the vehicle then the couple gets out. The women wash the bride's feet with milk and flower then offer sherbet to the couple. In some Hindu households the bride will step in the mixture of milk and flour and imprint the soles of her feet in the mixture.

The next ceremony is the Bou Bhat Ceremony. The elders bless the couple and the bride is presented with ornaments and saris. The new couple sits on a wooden plank while women blow conch shells, ring bells, and wail. That night the bride will wear her new sari and will not eat any food in her in-laws house. Flowers, sweets, and clothes will be brought to the bride's house and put in her room (Wedding Details).

A Hindu custom that has been banned from India is the dowry. The bride's family would give the groom money when he married their daughter. Families would sometimes go broke in attempt to give the groom all of the money that he requested. Sometimes when the money was not received the groom would burn his wife (Red Hot Curry). In cases that the woman would survive being burned she would return to her parent's home and live in shame. Usually these fires would be made to look like accidents and the women would not speak up for themselves. Recently more women are speaking out about this situation in India.

Buddhist weddings have been greatly influenced by the Hindu culture. Despite that fact, there are many differences in the wedding customs that are carried out. Most Buddhist weddings are arranged by a marriage broker who matches the bride and the groom. The match is made according to health, wealth, and social status. After the marriage broker has suggested a spouse, the family will then visit with each other several times before the couple that is going to be married ever meet. Dowry is still a part of Buddhist weddings. The amount that the bride's family will pay the groom and his family is decided and an astrologer will pick a date and time for the wedding to take place.

On the day of the wedding the couple will go to a temple and separately ask Buddha to bless them. They will then be dressed traditionally and taken to the shrine room at their local temple or hall that the wedding will take place at. This is the first time that they should see each other on their wedding day.(Marriage).

The couple walks down the aisle together carrying beads 21 beads called juju. These beads represent Buddha and the family members of the couple (Wedding Gazette). At the beginning of the ceremony the assembly will recite Vandana, Tisarana, and Pancasila readings. The couple lights candles and incense around the Buddha image if it is present. They offer flowers once everything is lit. Buddhist weddings are considered to be very secular. This is the thing that sets them most apart from Hindu weddings. Buddhist weddings have no special set of vows that are required. The bride and groom do however recite undertakings using the Sigilovdda Sutta. It states that:

"In five ways should a wife, as Western quarter, be ministered to by her husband: by respect, by courtesy, by faithfulness, by handing over authority to her, by providing her with ornaments. In these five ways does the wife minister to by her husband as the Western quarter, love him: her duties are well-performed by hospitality to kin of both, by faithfulness, by watching over the goods he brings and by skill and industry in discharging all business."
Once the vows are spoken the bride and groom exchange rings (Marriage). Exchanging rings is an option left up to the bride and groom. Once rings are exchanged and vows are read the couple will exit. If the ceremony takes place in a temple and there are monks present, the monks will finish the ceremony by chanting (Wedding Gazette).

Though the wedding ceremonies of the Hindu and Buddhist people may seem very different from a Christian wedding, there are many similarities. I have already mentioned the rings that are exchanged to symbolize that, like the gold ring, the marriage will last forever.

For a Christian wedding pre wedding traditions usually include a bachelor party and a bachelorette party. This are parties given for the bride and groom by their closest friends. This celebrates the groom and bride's last night of being single.

Weddings are often conducted in a church with a priest officiating (Caroline). Traditional bridal attire is a white bridal gown and veil that covers her face. She carries a bouquet of flowers as she walks down the aisle. The groom usually wears a suit or tuxedo.

The bride is usually escorted down the aisle by her father and the groom is waiting at the front of the sanctuary. Traditional weddings take place with friends and family watching. Two witnesses are present; usually this is the best man and maid of honor. Other groomsmen and bridesmaids may also stand beside the bride and groom but this is not necessary. The bride and groom recite wedding vows and rings are exchanged. While there are traditional vows that may be said, these vary depending on the couple's decision. The couple is pronounced man and wife, the groom kisses his new bride and the two walk down the aisle, arm in arm. As they walk down the aisle "The Wedding March" is the traditional song that is played. In nontraditional weddings the bride and groom may choose another song to walk down the aisle to.

Once the wedding is over, usually, a reception will follow. The reception either takes place at the church or in a rented hall. The bride and groom cut the wedding cake together and drink wine or punch together. The traditions of the reception vary. Usually a toast is raised by the best man and other friends or family of the couple (Caroline). Some receptions include meals, alcohol, dancing, and games. Whether there is dancing and alcohol depends on a number of things. If the reception is at the church both dancing and drinking alcohol may be prohibited. It also depends on the decision of the bride and groom. When dancing is included in the wedding the couple will share the first dance together. Other traditional dances include the bride and her father, the bride and her new father-in-law, the groom and his mother, and the groom with his new mother-in-law.

When the reception is finished guest will line up and the bride and groom will walk between the two lines to their car. As they walk through the two lines guests will throw birdseed at them. The couple may choose rice, bubbles, confetti, sparklers, or bells instead of the traditional birdseed. When the wedding is over the couple may go on a trip that is called a honeymoon. These traditions differ in each Christian wedding (The Knot).

After looking closely at the Buddhist, Hindu, and Christian wedding traditions it is easy to see how wedding traditions carry over from one religion to another. It seems that no matter what religion we all value the traditions that are involved in a wedding. Yes, weddings are a huge event no matter what religion a person may be. While each religion has their own rituals and traditions that are prominent to their culture, weddings symbolize the same thing every where you go. A man and woman join together to live their lives as one. This union is complete with the blessings of gods, friends, and family.