Buffet Etiquette

Buffets can appease many personalities. The variety alone can satisfy many a fussy appetite. If the buffet is popular there is likely to be a line. What is acceptable etiquette while waiting in buffet line? Better yet, here are behaviors that should not be practiced in buffet lines.

The person with the sallow complexion, runny nose and used Kleenex balled up in their sleeve should not grace the rest of the line. They should have enough common sense to realize the rest of us do not particularly care for prime rib with a side of sneeze.

You should not under any circumstances cut in line. It does not matter if you are as hungry as the person who has to purchase two airline tickets for one seat. And no one cares if you only have a half hour before the next XXX show starts. It is just rude to cut in a buffet line.

You should not "save" a place for your friends or family. They may think they are special but the kinship with you does not extend to first time bomb defusing or buffet lines.

You should not take more than you can eat. Think gluttony and starving third world countries while you contemplate the extra dozen shrimp.

Remember patience is a virtue. There should be no swapping of serving utensils just because the pokey pants senior citizen in front of you is still holding the spoon to the gravy. Do not take the mashed potato server and double dip.

Do not let children run amuck. Disasters have happened this way. Large dinner plates of food have ended up on the floor or people because some kid should be on Ritalin and is unsupervised.

It is unacceptable to swap food items. Never mind you spotted some stinky exotic cheese you preferred over the run of the mill cheddar.

Do not pretend to be oblivious to food you accidentally spilled on the floor before you reach the end of the buffet line. YES, it is a guarantee another person saw this. It is also a given if not picked up some unfortunate soul will step in it. They will at best track it around the floor and at worst slip in it. Let a staff member be aware of your clumsiness right away.

If you are a true connoisseur of buffets (others may even whisper and point while saying pig), and you are going up for seconds or thirds, get a clean plate every time. If the rest of the piglets have used up all the clean plates either wait or reevaluate your decision to eat more. After two helpings, do you really need both cheesecake and pie?

Last, but not least, if you must gorge yourself, do not offend others in the buffet line by the sounds of distasteful bodily noises. Be considerate and practice the art of self-control and proper buffet etiquette.