Building Character

Admittedly, I have never been a huge supporter of beauty pageants. It may stem from me falling into the category of 'well, she has a good personality' as opposed to being beautiful or popular. But I have always felt that beauty pageants were unfair; that is, to me, it is a focus more on the outside, rather than the combination of all the terrific parts of girls.
But no doubt, I'm sure there's a bit of resentment on my part, since I was never prom queen, or homecoming queen, or class president. Now if you wanted something creative done, I was number one. When it came to beauty or popularity, well, I fell quite short.
Though I'm still daddy's pretty baby.
But I bring up this point because I was given the opportunity to see another side of beauty pageants this weekend. I had the privilege of attending the 2008 Apple Queen Pageant, and hidden behind the bright lights and cheers from family members, I witnessed the greatest moment of congeniality I believe I have ever seen.
No matter what competition, whether its sports, the Oscars or a beauty pageant, we all have our favorites that we are rooting for. Mine was a sweet girl by the name f Kimberly. I recall seeing her in the massive amounts of photos that were to go into the paper. There always seemed to be one girl who would stand out for me in each category, but for some reason, Kimberly stayed with me. Perhaps it was her petite, gentle smile, or those big brown mysterious eyes, but her photo stayed with me. When I saw her on stage at the pageant, she reminded me of one of those adorable Disney stars, like Vanessa Hudgens or Selena Gomez, who just broke hearts, but did so with a brilliant and comforting smile that made you not care that she was breaking your heart. Kimberly is a classic, a beauty that harkens to the days of the World War Two starlets, like Rita Hayworth and Ingrid Bergman.
I wanted her to win. I wanted the raven-haired beauty in the black and white dress to steal the show. I sat in front of her family, who coached her from the darkness. Yells to smile, not be so stiffed, followed by comments that 'she was scared to death' and 'she's a nervous wreck, it's her first time' prompted me to will her to win even more. I watched as the judges (unfortunately) awarded everyone in the class a prize, except Kimberly.
But in that moment, as Kimberly stood on the stage, in front of a capacity crowd, she maintained a composure that most thirteen year olds would fail to manage. Her face tried not to betray the obvious riptide of emotion flowing beneath her exterior. I knew she wanted to cry, run, hide, forget, but she remained, in place, her quiet smile still shining on.
As I saw her later, in plain clothes and tear stains still evident on her face, I felt her pain and my resentment to the cruelty of judgment grew even more. I see most pageants as popularity contests, and while they can be 'character building,' seeing Kimberly's face moments later reminded me why I thought they were unfair.
Yet the fact that she remained, she stood in the spotlight with such courage and conviction, and even stayed on to watch the remainder of the pageant, reminded me that no matter what you are subjected to, whatever position life places you in, there is no reason to hang your head. She had no reason to run or hide. The courage to stand there, a smile still placed on her face, makes her even more of a winner to me than any of the pageant winners. But on the flip side, I applaud every girl up there, to have the gumption to try, to stand up and be judged. Win or lose in the pageant, every girl won in that category.
But that little girl, in a lovely black and white dress and a dazzling smile, I'll keep that memory with me, whenever I find myself standing in the spotlight, wanting to run and hide.
So thank you, Kimberly. I know this may not change the results, but I vote you my Apple favorite. You reminded me of a very important life lesson, so may be, just may be, they were right. May be pageants are character building.
Of course, I don't think that they had me in mind when they coined that phrase.