Building Conversation Skills

Conversation and communication make the world go 'round. Some people seem to have no problem jumping right into a conversation, while others stay very quiet and have troubles. So how do you become good at conversation? There is only one way to do that, and it is to start talking.

Relax. Conversations are awkward with people who are nervous. They tend to start or talk in spurts. Take a deep breathe and relax yourself, you have nothing to prove by engaging in conversation. Merely by speaking, you show your interest and willingness to engage. This will create a mutual attention with the person you are speaking to.

Group Conversation. Engaging in a conversation with more than one person is usually the best route to go for someone who is shy and nervous. You do not have to be the center of attention immediately and often, being a good listener will lead to being a better speaker. Some tips here are to interject at opportune moments and not to appear confrontational by making blatant statements of disagreement.

Ask Questions. As a follow-up to the above tip, asking questions will allow you to be more relaxed and feel a part of the group. If you are not sure what to say, then ask for clarification on something that was just spoken. If you are not familiar on the topic, be willing to admit that and ask the questions necessary to get a basic idea of the topic. Remember, being involved in the discussion includes more than speaking. It includes listening and learning.

Make a Contribution to the conversation. After joining the group and listening and asking questions, keep in mind that offering small contributions such as compliments to people speaking will give a relaxed appearance and people will begin to warm up to your presence within the conversation.

At some point, there may be something you want to say yourself. We all have our own thoughts and no matter if you're reserved or open, getting those thoughts out verbally is the only way to continue the conversation. Keep it brief, this helps keep the conversation going and will slowly bring you into the center of the conversation.

Maintain full eye contact as you speak. This action will show that you are fully engaged into the conversation and that you are speaking directly to the person. A conversation consists of a series of questions and responses, but it also consists of two people engaging in each other. Maintaining eye contact will show your listener that you are applying yourself to the discussion.

Introduce a new angle. Topics can get old after a little while. To keep it fresh you need to direct it on a new course. Same subject, but different angle. This will renew interest in a topic as it begins to wane.

Take a Breathe. No matter how comfortable you are, at some point if you dominate the discussion, others will feel they have no say. There is no reason for you to speak continuously, this will also allow you to continue to relax and not feel pressured to keep up the conversation. For every speaker, there must be a listener. Do not forget to experience and practice both halves of the conversation process. People are more apt to engage with someone whom they know listens, rather than someone who cannot stop talking.

These are simple steps to building great conversation skills. The most important step, however, is to just get out there. If you are not around people to talk to, how can you attempt to increase your conversation skills?