Building Trust in Young Relationships: We're Not All Cheaters

There have been a couple moments in my few relationships where trust was a question. I was accused of cheating, and I have also accused my girlfriend of cheating. With a few exceptions, these cheating accusations have turned out to be false. Also as a young person, I understand that young people usually have the feeling that their precious youth is running out. And with some people, they sometimes feel as if they should experience something from an outside source by cheating. But honestly, since most of us are not experts on serious relationships, how do we build trust when a lot of our peers are fueled by hormones and instant gratification?

Appreciate the Person

Firstly, you should appreciate the person for being willing to initiate a relationship with you. A relationship is an extremely stressful and tiring endeavor. With the right person, it's obviously one of the greatest things in life. For someone to be willing to give you such status in their life, you should be very grateful. If you appreciate the person and relationship, your paranoia will barely get the better of you. If you accuse them of cheating all the time, you're probably being counter-productive. Although it is sometimes difficult, if you remind yourself of struggles and incredible bonding moments you've had, you'll see how fast your trust in the person rises.

Forget your Past

Some say that the past itself, and if you do not grow from a past relationship you'll be back in the same position. This is true; but you should not carry your old relationship to a new one, even if it ended by cheating. Although you may approach relationships differently if you were cheated on or were cheating, you should not let the fact dictate the course of your relationship. It is not fair to your new mate to bring your old drama into it. Although trust is earned, if you decided to start a relationship with this person you shouldn't be concerned with cheating without sufficient probable cause.

Communication

This honestly should have been first. Although it has been said time and time again, I am totally surprised at the lack of communications in a lot of relationships I've seen. Most people have their times where they don't want to truly express themselves, but in some of my friend's relationships it seems as if there is no communication at all. Obviously, there is a huge difference in talking and actually communicating in a relationship. Communicating deals more on expectations and what one party wants from the relationship. Outlining expectations are a really good bonding tool.

It helps you get to know your mate better, thereby building trust. If you know what your mate wants and expects, the reality of them straying becomes lower on the priority list. Be sure to quickly address problems and try to stay in tune with your mate to make sure that your relationship is operating smoothly, and if practiced enough, cheating will hardly ever be an issue. Although sometimes things do "just happen", with the proper amount of communication, that possibility shrinks down to nearly nil.

These are not proven ways to build trust, but I have found that in my experiences that they help. If a relationship, especially a young one, does not have trust it is doomed. As young people, we tend to get wrapped up in the media and how our peers act, especially when it's promiscuously. If we can remember that not everyone cheats or are planning to cheat we can actually have a long-lasting healthy relationship that does not involve constant questioning and giving the third degree.