Bullies

I took a stab at being a bully when I was six. I was fairly successful waring with my older brother had a couple of fights in the neighborhood and on the school yard and the tough characters on the Little Rascals and The Bowery Boys were my favorites. So I ventured a couple of blocks from home and announced to the first kid I encountered, "My name is Toughy and I'll fight anyone on this block." The kid signaled to me to wait. About 10 minutes later he came back with a bunch of his friends and they beat the crap out of me. That ended my career as a bully.

A few years later in a new neighborhood my little brother was being bullied by a rat pack of urchins from the next block over. They would taunt him over the back yard hedge and throw crap at him. I hated these little fuckers but made the mistake of confronting the whole group of them. Six little fuckers against even a big kid is no match. I got the crap kicked out of me again. I learned my lesson. I picked them off one by one.

Bullies tend to pack together. Joey Caruso (on Everybody Hates Chris) always had his lackies. They eventually may form a team; the jocks, the cops, gang members or the Waffen SS. It's best to isolate the leaders, divide the members and recruit some angels. Bullying is a shameful tendency, it bespeaks weakness, human cruelty and mob mentality. Defuse the group energy by shaming and this is much different from eliciting guilt. Often bulllies are proud of the comraderie, the loyalty and even the cruelty. Cofronting the group will lead to conflict, resistance and even violence. The shame is personal it exists within each transgressor, except the sociopaths.

Every school should have a bully court. Angels should intervene, isolate the evil, shame the behavior and save the sinners. Today it is the victim that is isolated and ignored. Adults turn their heads. Some parents, coaches and teachers even encourage aggressive behavior. Kids are told to speak up, manners are not taught and parents behave badly. Some sports training sends the wrong message about competition and domination. Coversely, kids should know good from evil, have the gumption to stand up and intervene.

My best friend was a little guy and he had spunk. When he got to high school he was only 4 foot eigth inches small. At our school the lockers were limited. Upper classmen had the top lockers and lower classmen the bottoms. On his first day at high school my friend had a load of books dropped on his head by the hulking brute of a senior jock hovering over him. The little guy got up, jumped on the monster's back and beat him to the deck with his little fists. After that he was legend and saved the entire freshman class from the usual hazing. This is a heroic solution and should not be expected.

Kids should not declare their sexuality too earlly or display too much. Adolescence is a very confusing time, Experimentation doesn't define you nor does fantasy describe your future. Kids get such bad sexual advice and are shamed for natural behavior. The smartest kids see that this human existence is fun, funny and subject to self depreciation. They should share the joke with all the kids that take this life so seriously.