Bullies, Gangs, and Muggers: Teach Your Kids Smart Ways to Avoid Trouble

If your child is threatened by a bully at school, should you call the principal, sign him up for judo lessons or tell him to run away? Read this and find out how you can help your child safely handle trouble.

One fall afternoon when my daughter, Glory, was only 5 years old, my son came to me to have a "talk." "Mom," he said, "I need to tell you something. Glory got kicked pretty hard on the bus today by some boys, and they are always mean to her on there." I had known about these four boys from previous incidents, but because they were young and came from a poor family, the school did not suspend them from the bus route. I called my daughter and inquired of her what had happened. "It's okay, mommy," she said. "I just let them keep my popcorn ball."

Saddened by the fact that she did not feel the need to tell me about this latest incident, I questioned myself and my motherly intuition. Had I failed to protect her from a known bully, assuming that the kids were young and would work it out for themselves?

Each time we hear about a violent episode, our sense of personal safety is diminished. Whether we live in a bustling city or a placid suburb, we worry about the impact of crime on our children's lives. We like to think they will be safe when we see them off to school each morning, but even within their schools, crime is on the rise.

According to a study by the National Institute of Education, 11%, or 2.4 million, of all American high school children have something stolen from them during any given month. In many public schools, kids are in danger in the school yards, hallways, the bathroom and the lunchrooms. Even on their way to school, kids have to worry about other kids taking their bus passes, money, book bags or jackets.

Despite these facts, there is a lot that we, as parents, can do to help our children avoid becoming victims, while at the same time giving them a sense of security in what is undeniably an insecure world. We can teach them to become "street smart".

Street smart children know how to use their eyes and other senses to perceive what is happening around them so they do not wander into dangerous situation by mistake. They know the difference between a safe situation and a potentially dangerous one. If they see an unruly group of tough kids on the corner, they know to cross the street. Once children are old enough to walk neighborhood streets on their own, they must be prepared to face unpleasant, and sometimes dangerous situations.

While there are numerous resources online for helping kids and parents to avoid bullying, violence, or theft at school or elsewhere, perhaps the number one line of defense is a positive, open relationship between children and parents. Too many parents set their kids aside, never giving them personal, one on one attention. Some parents believe that taking their kids to all their school functions means that they are spending "quality" time, when in reality, there is little to no interaction between parents and children during those activities. If you're not sure if your parent-child relationship is at its best, ask yourself this question: If I were in a relationship with someone, would I spend as much time with them as I do with my child? If you answered no, chances are you need more time with the kids and less time with the television, computer, or personal endeavors.

Remember, its always important to have a little bit of "me" time for yourself, but it is even more important to ensure the safety of your child. Likewise, your children are only young once. One day they will be grown, and gone, too busy to get to know you like they can now. Don't waste this precious period of time, a time that can not only strengthen your bond with them, but literally save them from violence, or even death, in the future. It would seem to me, considering these odds, it is more important to sacrifice a little personal comfort than to see the latest episode of Survivor.

Sources:

National Institute of Education
http://kidshealth.org/kid/watch/out/street_smart.html
http://www.streetsmartkids.com/
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4161547/ns/msnbc_tv-the_abrams_report/