Bullies in Our Schools

Most parents get up in the morning and prepare to send their children off to school without ever giving a second thought as to what their child might have to go through on their way to school or even while they are at school. Parents naturally and rightfully assume that their child is in a safe and non-threatening environment when they are sent to school each day. However, as violence increases throughout our school systems, so does bullying. According to the website Allwords.com, a bully is defined as, "a person who hurts, frightens, or torments weaker or smaller people."

Is your child being bullied? Unfortunately, being bullied is something that many children are forced to endure on a regular basis. According to the website Safeyouth.org, " Almost 30% of youth in the United States (or over 5.7 million) are estimated to be involved in bullying as either a bully, a target of bullying, or both." One step to stopping this terrible act if it is happening to your child is by recognizing some of the signs that your child is being bullied.

1.) Not Participating In Activities with Friends - If you notice that your child is suddenly not interested in attending routine activities or going out to spend time with their friends, it might be time to sit them down and talk to them. Many times, children think that if they avoid the bully, the situation will eventually go away. It is easier to miss out on fun times with their friends than it is to endure what the bully plans to do them if they try and participate. It is also common that their friends will not defend them or will even join in on the bullying, just to avoid being the next victim. Noticing a sudden change in your child's social life, should send up some red flags and be a cause for some concern.

2.) Withdrawn and Unwilling to Talk - Just weeks ago, you could not get your child to stop talking about their day at school, but now they barely even look up when the subject of school comes up. Children are often afraid to tell on a bully because they fear it will make things worse for them. Added onto that is the embarrassment that they are unable to handle the situation themselves. At times, besides being unwilling to talk, they may stop making eye contact or try to get away to an isolated area, just to avoid the uncomfortable conversations. Like any victim of a violent act, admitting their is a problem can be very difficult.

3.) Poor Behavior in School - If you have a child that is being bullied, it is quite realistic that you and the authorities at school are no longer their biggest fear. Therefore, some children will try to fit in with the bully or retaliate against the bully which results in them getting into trouble. Well behaved children do not usually just begin acting out for no reason. A child that is bullied may begin to harass a child that is smaller or less capable than them just to prove that they are not weak or insignificant. As the anger and resentment build in your child, these situations could get downright explosive.

4.) Feeling ill too Frequently - Suddenly, your child is unwilling to get up and go to school and you are not sure what is wrong with them. Chances are if it is happening too frequently, there is more to the story and a bully may be at the bottom of it. A child that is dealing with a bully on a regular basis may actually feel sick. It is important to not immediately think they are faking illness because in their minds and often times in their stomach, the illness is all too real. A child that is being bullied might begin to feel better just by having an adult that they trust becoming aware of the situation.

5.) Unexplainable Bruises - Regardless of their age, if you notice a bruise or mark on your child, it is crucial that you find out where they got it. Children are naturally going to get banged around once in awhile, but most of the time, not to the extent that they are unable or unwilling to explain where bruises came from. Although mental bullying can impact a child as much or more than physical bullying, certainly you would not want to take a wait and see attitude and allow the situation to escalate if bruises are being left on your child.

Bullying is unacceptable. Many times it is going to take a parent or possibly even several adults to get involved when a child is being mistreated by a bully. There are many ways to go about getting involved, but the first step can be done right at home. Talk to your child and keep the lines of communication open with them at all times. Schools may be getting more violent, but with an awareness of your child and a little investigating, your child's life does not need to be in a constant state of violence and mistreatment.

Sources:

Allwords.com English Dictionary, www.allwords.com

Safeyouth.org - Bullying Facts and Statistics, November 14, 2003, www.safeyouth.org/scripts/faq/bullying.asp