Bully-Cide, the Ugly New Word

In today's society, people in general can be mean.

There have always been bullies in schools and in the workplace. What is bothering me is that now we have a name for when bullied children kill themselves.
Bullycide.

What a horribly ugly word.

I was reading an article about two young teens in Massachusetts who both killed themselves after being bullied horribly in school. They lived within 10 miles of each other. They are not the first kids to commit suicide because they just couldn't take the hate anymore.

What has happened to our society? Why are so many parents either incapable or unwilling to correct their children? I've seen so many times where children literally run wild, unsupervised and unpunished. What is wrong with parents who allow their children to be so cruel and hateful? I know kids act differently when their parents are not around. But how many times does a complaint have to be made to the parent before something gets done? Do they really believe that there is a conspiracy out there against their perfect little angels? Someone pulled their child's name out of a hat and decided to pick on them for no reason? All these parents act like "Not my perfect little baby!!". Get over yourselves people. Every single kid in this world is capable of bad behavior. It's how they learn. It is up to us as parents to teach and correct. Every time a toddler hits someone and the parent just thinks it's cute, every time a small child talks back and is disrespectful and is not immediately corrected, the parent is not doing his or her job. It is NOT ok for a child to push another child off the swings and take that swing. It is not ok for a child to bite, hit, push another child or adult. It isn't cute for a child to throw a tantrum in order to get their own way. It is not ok for elementary children to torment other children. All this behavior starts from the very beginning and respect for others needs to be taught.

It seems that these days children are basically left to do what they want. Each child is allowed to get away with very poor behavior and they learn very quickly that they are the ones running the show. The problem is that once these ego centric little beings go to school they are faced with a whole classroom of other ego centric little beings all wanting to be in charge. Their parents never told them "no" and now they are being made to follow the rules of the classroom. Their parents did not teach them to share or be respectful and now they are having to interact with 20 other children who have not been made to be respectful. Given this upbringing where there is no personal responsibility or accountability what do people think is going to happen? So many kids today start out learning that they can do whatever they want and there are little to no consequences for their actions. OF COURSE there are going to be horrible problems once they get to school. They ALL want to be in charge and they will always start with whoever seems to be the easiest to push around.

We need to get back to discipline. It is our responsibility to teach our children that there are consequences to their actions. I'm not saying that we should all start beating our kids, here. What I am saying is that kids are not going to die if we tell them "NO". So what if they get mad for not being given their own way? We are parents not their good buddies. Maybe they will be mad. They'll get over it. We are sending children out into the world thinking that they can do whatever they want and no one will stop them. These kids are living that to the fullest. No one seems to be telling these kids that calling someone else hurtful names is wrong. If they do that and the school calls and says it is happening, you don't just ignore it. You act decisively and promptly. Each and every time a child hurts someone else, is disrespectful or flouts the rules there needs to be a consistent consequence.

It is easy to say "well, it won't happen to me". But it is happening and what if it happens to you? What if your child torments another child so terribly that he or she actually kills themselves? Is that something that will be easy to live with? For the rest of your child's life that will be a part of who he or she is. Your child actually drove another human being to kill themselves. What does that say about how you raised your child?

What if the shoe is on the other foot? What would you do if your child died because of the abuse of another kid at their school? How on earth do you live with that? Wouldn't you be furious and hurt and be demanding someone be accountable?

That is the extreme. There are many, many children right now being tormented and abused at the hands of other children. The victims are hurting and frightened and desperate. To the parents of the children accused of bullying, this isn't cute. It isn't something that you just yell at Junior and then move on. The bully is committing abuse against another child. It is not ok. If your child is torturing other children, either you need to get your child counseling for their issues or you need to do something to stop this aggressive and horrible behavior. Hiding your head in the sand and saying "not my kid" is not going to help anyone.

For the parent's of the victim, do whatever you have to do to protect your child. This isn't something that your child should just "tough it up" and take. It is not right to know that your child is exposed on a constant basis to abuse and just do nothing. If you have to be at that school everyday, so be it. If you have to contact the school board, so be it. If you have to file charges and have your child change schools then so be it. People, kids are KILLING themselves. I know it is inconvenient to have to take time off of work to deal with the bullying. So what? This is your child here. You simply can not rely on the school to take care of this matter. Once your child is dead it is too late.

Bullycide. It is an ugly word. Children are being driven to kill themselves by other children. This isn't something that is going to go away if we all just ignore it. This isn't a matter of "well, kids are mean, they all have to just learn to deal with it."

This is a serious issue that is costing children's lives. Some are killing themselves over it and others are taking guns to school and killing others over it. What more needs to happen before we all start paying attention to this epidemic?

If your child is being bullied you can not rely on the school to protect him or her.

If your child is bullying someone else, instead of ignoring it you need to do something to stop this before someone gets seriously hurt or worse.

Please parents, PARENT your children. Teach them that bullying is unacceptable and wrong. Teach them compassion and kindness and sharing and respect. Stop ignoring bad behavior and stop allowing your children to make the rules.

Other children's lives depend on it.