Bullycide: The Suicide of Children and Adults as a Result of Bullying

Many people find there is no end to their pain. They are extremely depressed and see no way to end this depression, pain and suffering but to end their lives. There are far too many adults, teens, and even young children taking the extreme measure of ending their own lives. There has to be some sort of a solution to make these sufferers happier and to stop them from believing death is the only solution to their problems. Why must so many die in these type of tragedies?

Bullycide is a term which was coined by one of the authors of Bullycide:
Death at Playtime, Neil Marr. (Information about the book and other information about Bullycide is available at the Bullycide.)

Bullycide is the suicide of a person who has been driven to extreme depression through the torture they have experienced by bullies at work, school, or during other activities which the victim may be involved. Their pain and suffering becomes so intense they believe the only way to end their suffering is to end their lives.

We know that there is a direct link between bullying and suicide in children and teens. However, adult victims of bullycide are those which either grew up and were unable to cope with life as a result of extreme depression brought on by childhood incidents of bullying or are adult victims of bullying in the workplaces, on college campuses, or during other activities where regular interaction with bullies occur. Bullies are everywhere. They are in every school system. They are on college campuses and in workplaces.

To fully understand bullycide one must understand bullying. This article will give the reader information about bullying both for children and adults. It will help the reader to understand how bullying could lead a child or an adult to end their pain with suicide.

Links under the heading of Resources and placed with this article will give the reader more information on the concepts of bullying and bullycide. This article is meant to give a general overview of these concepts. Readers who seriously care about this issue should research and get all the information possible on this subject.

Some Basic Ideas About Bullies

The list below are concepts which are present in most bullies. They are the foundation of the concept of bullying and are present in the people who are causing extreme mental and physical pain to victims.

* Bullies are from all age groups, backgrounds, economic statuses, social statuses, religions, and races,.
* Bullies prey on those who appear to be the most vulnerable and weak.
* Bullies attack those who appear different in any way to the bully.
* Bullies attack victims because they want to exercise control over the person. Like all forms of abuse, it all about control. Those who feel the most out of control need to gain control over others.
* Ignoring bullies will not make them stop. They have too strong of a need to have power over others. Once it has began, it is hard to get them to stop. Bullying is a drug and bullies are addicted.
* Many bullies have been taught to be bullies by what they see at home. Many have seen their parents act in a bullying fashion or are acting out because of rage brought on by their own abuse at home. Violence breeds violence. Bullies who grow up in violent homes are learning it first hand.
* Attacking children or any one at school, work, college, or anywhere else is a crime. Bullies are criminals.
* As bullies get older the bullying will usually intensify. An example: A child bully may only use words or lighter forms of bullying when in grammar school, but once this child becomes a teen the attack will usually increase in severity.
* Bullies are dangerous. It is hard to say when a bully will graduate to a more aggressive attack. There have been murders committed by bullies. All attacks from bullies should be taken seriously whether they are verbal or physical.
* Bullies strive to do damage and secure results. If a the person is made to quit, leave, move, or suffer any other drastic change, the bully feels more powerful.
* Bullying is a form of hate crime.
* Bullies target victims who are different in some way to the bully. Many times bullying comes from jealousy and inadequacies felt by the bullies.
* Reporting bullies is the only way to stop them. Once reported the attack needs to be dealt with seriously.
* Bullies will not stop if they do not receive tough consequences for their actions. Bullies are only able to bully because they can get away with it. They do it because they can.

There are probably more of these characteristics or ideas about bullies which I have missed her. The reader should get a basic idea of who bullies are and some idea of why they bully from the list above. More information can be obtained by visiting the resource links or doing a Google Search with the keyword "Bullies."

Effects of Bullying on Victims

Short-Term Effects
* Anger
* Depression
* Anxious avoidance of settings in which bullying may occur.
* Greater incidence of illness
* Lower grades than non-bullied peers
* Suicidal thoughts and feelings'

Long-term Effects
* Reduced occupational opportunities
* Lingering feelings of anger and bitterness, desire for revenge.
* Difficulty trusting people
* Interpersonal difficulties, including fear and avoidance of new social situations
* Increased tendency to be a loner
* Perception of self as easy to victimize, overly sensitive, and thin-skinned
* Self-esteem problems (don't think well of self)
* Increased incidence of continued bullying and victimization

(Above lists are taken from The Long Term Effects of Bullying.)

Note: The longer the bullying continues; the greater the effects on the victim. The earlier the bullying can be stopped; the better the chance that the victim can be helped. Early intervention can help to secure the best results in helping the victim to deal with and prevent the greatest amount of damage to the victim's mind and self-esteem.

Results of Bullying and What Leads Kids to Bullycide

The results of bullying cause children much more harm then many people realize. The effects have been known to carry into the child's adult life. It destroys a child's already developing mind and causes the child a great sense of shame. Many believe it is their fault, and this only enhances the problems and insecurity of childhood and adolescence.

The tormentors care little about the pain they inflict. The more harm they do cause; the better they seem to feel about the experience. If they can make the victim cry, miss school, or show fear; they gain even more power and feel they are accomplishing their task.

While the bullies may feel good about what they are doing, the victims are loosing more and more of their self-esteem. For victims the very place which is suppose to offer security is only a place of pain, fear, and suffering. Many end up being home schooled, move to other schools, and some have even been known to quit school if they are victims of high school bullies.

For many children in our schools the outcome of bullying is to totally giving up on life. They have dealt with the abuse and torture of school bullies for so long, they just can't find no peace at all. They dive into a depression so deep, they seem to have no sense of happiness or see no end to their pain. Their suffering has overwhelmed them so deeply that ending their life seems, to them, to be the only way out. It is the only way to end the pain which has destroyed their ability to cope. To them all hope is lost and life is not worth living any more.

This is a tragic way to end a young life. Bullycide is happening at alarming rates all across this country and in other countries. It is something which many parents and some school officials have been discussing and fighting against.

There are still too many people who do not take this problem as seriously as they should. There are still far too many children who are choosing suicide as a solution to ending their pain.

Those who do not do anything to help the victims being bullied are only adding more fuel to an already raging fire. They are working to help the bullies and are not working to prevent the tragic end of young lives. They are condoning the bullying of children just because they are different. They are no better then the bullies.

Remember the bullies know what buttons to push, and what will make victims feel the worst. They have real problems dealing with people who are different. These are but excuses for their behavior. They have to find some reason to bully so they will use a victim's weight, looks, apparel, schoolwork, lack of popularity, different behavior, accomplishment, disability, family, race, and anything else which may set the victims apart. They are mean and vicious.

Victims who deal with this ridicule day after day with no end in sight will loose their ability to cope. They begin to see themselves as their tormentors see them. The lasting damage to these kids is intense. They end their lives and families are left with the grief and pain of loosing a special child.

Children are the saddest victims of Bullycide. We care about adults who commit suicide, but it affects us at an even grater rate when it is a child. It should effect us more because as adults we are here to protect them.

Bullying of children is an adult problem. Only Adults have the power to end it. Only adults can change laws and make schools safe. It is up to the adults to protect the children.

Adult Victims of Bullycide

Even though the child victims of bullycide may impact us much harder, we must not forget nor ignore the victims who are adults. The bullying may have started in school and increased incidence of continued bullying and victimization caused the victim to continue being bullied as an adult; the bullying may have started in childhood and fueled the depression which the adult now feels even though the bullying had ended; or the bullying has been happening at work or during other adult activities. Whatever is at the base of the victim's mind or fueled the depression which caused the victim to choose suicide as the solution, it is still a tragedy. A family will be left behind to come to terms with the loss of someone they love.

Bullycide in adults may not be recognized as such by most people, and it may not get the attention of childhood bullycide, but it is still a problem. You can't change or create laws for bullying and ignore any victims. If we are to end bullying, we must end it for all victims. Abuse of any kind is wrong.

The effects of bullying are basically the same for children and adults. In children, the effects are more intense earlier. This means that they may react sooner or more deeper. They will be able to handle the bullying for a shorter period of time then an adult. Adults will probably deal with bullying longer before they are effected as deeply as a child will.

They may decide to quite the job or activity and just leave the area to avoid the problem. Many adults may be able to find a solution sooner then a child would be able too.

The problem with adults is that they tend to be even more secretive then children. Until a disastrous outcome happens to the adult victim of bullying, they will not report or tell anyone how they feel. Even when they complete their suicide, the family or no one else will know that the person was a victim of bullying. Many times it never known what fueled the depression which caused the person to take their own life.

Not matter how you look at it or how much you analyze it, bullycide is a problem and all victims deserve to have a voice since they no longer can speak for themselves.

What Can be Done to Stop Bullycide?

To stop bullycide we must first put an end to bullying. Below are some ideas for doing this.

* Report any type of bullying you see happening. Whether you are the victim or not, you must report the abuse.
* Help victims to know they do not have to take the abuse. Teach them to empower themselves.
* Listen to victims who are telling you about the bullying they are experiencing and take the necessary action to stop it.
* Teach children to understand that violence and the ridicule of others no matter who they are and how different they are is wrong. We all are different, and we do not deserve to be abused because of these differences.
* Select or start programs to teach about bullying, and the consequences of such behavior.
* Educate everyone within your community about the problem of bullying.
* Make school and work officials aware of this problem and make sure they listen.
* Continue to speak out on the topic of bullying and never let up. When you speak out on this topic you are speaking for victims who are unable to speak for themselves.
* Be there for the victims who may be contemplating suicide as result of bullying. Listen and find them help before it is too late. Take every statement of suicide contemplation seriously.
* Teach Bullies that there is no excuse for abusing others.
* Take every incident of bullying seriously and take the necessary action to stop it.
* Sign the Federal Anti-Bullying Laws Petition.
* Get all the information on bullying and bullycide you can and pass it on to others.
* Find out haw bullying is dealt with at you school system and community.

The most important thing you can do to stop bullying and bullycide in your community is to get involved. Ask questions and stay informed. This will benefit everyone.

Recommended Reading Material on Bullycide

Here are links to a couple of books which further help to explain the problem of Bullycide while giving real life examples of victims who have lost their lives in this manner.

Bullycide: Death at Playtime

Bullycide in America