Bullying in Our Schools: Long Term Effects Can Be Detrimental

Recently, when I heard a local 12-year old boy got off the school bus after school, went straight inside his home, retrieved a shotgun from his fathers gun cabinet and shot and killed himself, I was horrified. What could possibly been so bad for a 12-year old to want to kill himself? Well, being from a small community, I soon found out that he had been subjected to extreme bullying at school. This particular young man was on the national honor roll, he was smaller than his peers, and he wore glasses. So, in turn, he became the target of cruelty by his classmates. No, this doesn't sound like a reason to pick on someone to many, but unfortunately children will choose an individual that does not pose a threat to bully.

Bullying is hurtful behavior that is directed by a more powerful individual, or groups of individual's against less powerful individual's. It is never justified and is usually enjoyed by the bully. Bullying may take many forms, both psychological and physical. It can be direct as in hitting or name calling, or indirect like excluding one from a group or spreading rumors. Sometimes children may go along with the group to fit in, but they actually do not enjoy how it makes them feel. Not every child is a bully, they just try to fit in to not become a victim themselves.

Bullying can take on other forms, which leads us to cyberbullying. Technology has come a long way, but it has also given a new opportunity to bullying. Cyberbullying can follow children into their private spaces, outside of school and into their own homes. This form of bullying allows the bully to remain anonymous in some cases. Many pre-teen and teen's have mobile devices so it's very important for parents to be aware of how their children are using these devices. Many children have an account using an instant messenger service, this can be an opportunity for a bully to continue the bullying away from school or a social setting.

So what factors causes bullying? Well, in some cases, the child who is the bully may have family issues. It could be due to lack of attention and nurturing towards the child, aggression in the home, or lack of supervision. Our parenting is not necessarily always a factor however, a child could come from a perfectly nurturing home environment but their temperament may be a factor. Children who are more impulsive in temperament may be more inclined to bully.

The long-term effect of bullying can be detrimental to a child later in their adult life. Victims of bullying are generally very unhappy and suffer from anxiety, fear, depression and low self-esteem as a result of bullying. They may try to avoid school or social situations in an effort to avoid the situation. In some cases, they may commit, or attempt to commit suicide. Victims suffer from significant psychological hurt which interferes with their social and emotional development as well.

If you suspect your child is a victim of bullying, ask them directly. Children often will not tell they're parents for fear of embarrassment or fear of retaliation from the person or people that are doing the bullying. Look for signs like lack of friends, fear of going to school and increased anxiety. Many schools now have implemented anti-bullying programs. If you're child's school has not yet implemented such a program, you may want to be a voice to you're school board and make them aware that bullying is a problem in you're schools.

Implementing an anti-bullying program is a process that takes time. It can seem like a lost cause at first, however, with persistence and intervention, within a few months the results will be evident. A "no tolerance" plan needs to be implemented and punishment needs to be followed through. We probably will not be able to stop bullying all together, but being aware and attempts to lower incidents of bullying, we may be able to save our children from the emotional and physical effects long-term. It is extremely disturbing when children are committing suicide due to being a victim of bullying at school. This is a very important issue in today's society. After all, our children are our future.