Bush to Send Boy Scouts to Iraq

In a surprise move to win the War in the Gulf, President George Bush has decided to draft members of the Boy Scouts of America. He believes that the ideals that are held by the Boy Scouts will give the United States Military the advantage it needs to turn the tide of the War. He knows that many people will question this decision. He stated that this was a hard decision that needed to be made in this delicate time.

President Bush is first, pointing to the Scout Motto in support for his decision. The Motto of, "Be Prepared," is an ideal that he realizes is new for this War, and should have been followed since the beginning.

The Outdoor Code of the Boy Scouts is another argument for Bush's plan. "As an American, I will do my best to be clean in my outdoor manners, be careful with fire, be considerate in the outdoors, and be conservation-minded."

Bush has gone on record as realizing that the Military needs to be more eco-friendly during the war. He has not realized, though, that the last two words of the Code are, "conservation-minded," not, "conservative-minded."

Many parents have argued that their children could not be sent to the War because of their age. The White House has pointed out the Boy Scout Oath states that, "On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to God and my Country." All Bush states that he is doing is taking them up on their oath to the country.

The President is sure to take a lot of heat over this decision, but he is prepared for that. This morning, at a press conference, he was asked how a child could be successful in a war. Please pardon this writing, as it is a direct quote, "Th...they can build a fire. Have you ev...ever created fire on your own? Fire is dangerous and is hard to build. I have been attemptating to build fire for years to no available."

There has not been any official word about the possibility of the addition of any of the other divisions of the Boy Scouts of America. There is no word as to the incorporation of the Cub Scouts or Weeblows.

One change that will definitely be bringing a change in this war is the Scout Salute. The salute is performed by the extension of three fingers on the right hand. This constitutes the extension of two more fingers then many soldiers have extended in a salute to the President.