Bush Woes Deepen; Said to Be Behind "Joey" Program

New court documents filed by Scooter Libby show that despite official denials, George Bush personally approved of the Matt LeBlanc sitcom, "Joey." Support for the program has rapidly eroded after a first season that many Republicans are privately admitting "just wasn't that funny." Bush himself has refused to admit that he made any errors in judgment when he met LeBlanc on the set of the troubled sitcom and expressed, "LeBlancy, you're doin' a heckuva job."

Press secretary Scott McClellan denied that any current White House staff members had "actively watched the program," but quickly noted that the Constitution gives broad powers to a wartime Commander in Chief to deem any show he sees fit to be "hilarious."

Democrats, many of whom initially supported the program, said that they had not been fully briefed, and were not privy to secret White House intelligence about future planned developments in the now largely discredited series. "Hey, did we know they were going to do a divisive show about Joey and Zack getting `married?' In Mexico?" Nancy Pelosi demanded in a separate press conference hastily called by Democrats and held in a broom closet of a local YMCA. "The truth is this episode shows how much we need to reinforce our borders. If Joey and Zack can be allowed to just come back into the states unchecked, we are seriously putting our children at risk. The fact is that Republicans continue to embrace a culture of corruption, when they try to hide behind the excuse that these are fictional characters."

Tom DeLay said he'd never heard of the show, despite numerous photos of the former House majority leader golfing on the set. Dick Cheney angrily denounced the Democratic response, saying, "This is a program the president and I fully support, and frankly, it unacceptable for Democrats to reveal to our enemies in a time of war that they disagree with patriotic Americans' sense of humor. I think the media only want to report the negative, like cast members departing to do other pilots. They never file stories on the fact that Matt (LeBlanc) and the chick from `The Sopranos' were recently assigned parking places closer to the NBC commissary. That's just not sexy."

But even some on the right now voice doubts. "I think this program was ill conceived. We want to support our "Friends," but this isn't the way to do it. That's why I support a woman's right to choose whether or not to view the show in reruns or to buy whole seasons of "Friends" on DVD," said former NYC mayor Ruddy Giuliani. Democrats quickly countered that they had a plan to fund more DVD handouts to Hurricane Katrina victims, and discounted calls by Senator Russ Feingold to edit Matt LeBlanc's character out of the series as "expensive and impractical," but left open the possibility of naming a special prosecutor.

McClellan further denied that the program was in trouble, despite having been pulled from the NBC schedule. "We are in ongoing talks, and we're attempting to get representatives of North Korea to discuss with us, and NBC, the possibility of requiring their citizens to watch the show, which would bolster the program overseas. Those talks are in a critical stage and I'm not going to discuss an ongoing negotiation." McClellan went on to deny that "there's even a shred of credibility" to Iran's claims that they are only developing nuclear weapons to protect themselves from the program. "Frankly, we heard that before in reference to the `Dukes of Hazard' movie and the screen adaptation of `Bewitched.' Iran is playing a dangerous game with these latest claims," adding the assurance that "If the U.N. wouldn't step forward to support this vital program, the president is fully prepared that we'll go it alone."

NBC officials said they hadn't decide whether or not to renew the program, and were consulting with legal scholars to see if they could cancel it without being declared enemy combatants and incarcerated in Guantanamo.