But Look at What She's Writing!

Being autistic, at any level, is a little like walking in your own world. You wake up and realize that the rest of the world is there. This happens a lot. You get into a subject and obsess over it. You seem to just know things that other people, you learn, don't just "know." You teach yourself things and really dislike other people touching or being near you. You might learn to adjust over life, but you never really like it. You like being alone. You do need some interaction and even touch, but you really never get comfortable with any of that. You can not comfortably look people in the eyes. You tend to talk to people as you look elsewhere, if you talk at all. Many have experienced a period in life when you just stopped talking completely. Silent, you lived in your own world of focus on whatever it is that you liked. For me it was reading books and music composition. I thought that everyone could write music from nothing. I thought that everyone could play the piano without any lessons. The guitar came in my teens and was followed by a series of stringed instruments. For me it was always stringed instruments. The sound fascinated me to no end and was the focus of my obsession for years. Later, when I discovered math, hours were spend creating layers and layers of dimensional aspect ratio drawings. It fascinated me to see the different views of the levels of planes. When I did begin to speak again it was like opening up a recording that wouldn't shut-up. My poor mother would try to listen, but would eventually have to tell me to write it down instead. I did exactly that. That, is how I became a writer.

That comes from looking back at life after being diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. I dated a man that has it, (undiagnosed), and I began to think that I might have it as well. So I went and had an evaluation. I was diagnosed with it as high-functioning. Years ago I had begun Yoga to help me with some of the things that I feel. It turns out that it was great for my condition. My boyfriend had never dealt with it and we ended up splitting up because of the issues that Aspies have. I went for most of my life with no diagnosis. I just thought that I stunk at communication. It turns out that I just speak differently. The healing part of being diagnosed was finally hearing that there was something that explained how I always felt. This is what my experience was like.

There is a whole story that I will put in a book later to share with parents that have children that have been diagnosed with Aspergers or Autism Spectrum Disorder. Here, though, I want to share some ways to notice that your child might be perfectly fine even if they are diagnosed. Don't worry that they will have a hard time. Every child has their own struggles. Help your Aspies and Autism-Spectrum children to feel confident. Offer them acceptance and love. They just need a good school and great opportunities to express their passions in order to be happy. I went on to graduate and get multiple minors with my education. I taught school for years and even helped to save a Navajo reservation school from loosing their Federal Funding. Your child can have a normal life that is happy and extremely successful. After all, the one thing we get is learning! I will also share what I went through.

I looked forward to school. I taught myself to read before 1st grade. I was writing prolifically everyday in grade one. My teacher was fabulous. Mrs. Grone, my first grade teacher was the first to point out what they regrettably didn't diagnose. It was still helpful though in my self-esteem and connection to my parents. My parents were concerned that my handwriting was not the best and that my grammar was poor. They set up an appointment and went to meet with Mrs. Grone. I was not present, but one of my parents told me what happened last year when I shared my diagnosis. The concern was shared with Mrs Grone, and her reply was, "yes, but look at what she's writing!" She apparently went on to share that I was pondering Physics and the meaning of life. Many of my poems that I have published here on Yahoo Voices are those early poems. I also wrote stories about animals. My parents have shared that they knew that I was smart, but they wanted me to improve at the handwriting and grammar. They didn't tell me what happened after that, but I can tell from memories of that time in my life, that they went with my differences. I thank them for that for sure!

As parents of Aspergers or Autism spectrum children, you must understand that they function differently. Your doctor will guide you with the emotional part of having this disorder, but make sure that you realize what gifts that your child has to offer. Different is not bad. Think about Einstein and others like him. They had social issues and often couldn't balance a check-book, but what they offered the world was priceless. Allow your child to blossom and grow in their spectrum. Unless they are hurting themselves or others, they are simply very empathic and emotional. Remember that touching them is like invading their body. Aspies have a different perspective on physical space. Respect their limitations and you will avoid the tantrums that result from their perceived invasions of their space. I like to call it my "sacred space." We are a lot like cats, you have to wait until we come to you.

They also might have issues with certain fabrics and experience food allergies. Carefully watch what you feed your child and help them to be as stable as possible. Routine is important to Aspies. Some like rules and cannot change course. You will feel like you are talking to a brick wall. Just know that they won't change their ways because they are set on their own path. Never, ever confuse disobedience with their Aspie ways. Aspies cannot lie because it is illogical to them. You will have a very honest, although extremely blunt child, but they will generally be very obedient. Just make sure that you dance to their tune and you will communicate very well with your Aspie child. Remember this with your child and allow them to feel safe in your presence. This allows them to blossom and prevents other disorders from developing. Help them by getting them programs to spell check and calculators to do the basics of math so they can function at the higher levels that they love. You will be amazed at what Aspies are capable of. Most of all, just love them. Learn to look beyond what you normally see and you will see the world through your Aspie or Autism Spectrum child's eyes.