But I Want a Relationship in the First Five Years of Sobriety

I've been sober from alcohol for a little over four years now and I attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings on a daily basis. The people in Alcoholics Anonymous say that you're not supposed to have intimate relationships within the first five years of sobriety.

www.associatedcontent.com/article/2365210/the_sober_alcoholic_way_of_life_staying.html

Personal Experience

I can tell you based on personal experience why this is a good idea.

Two Years Of Sobriety

I tried to be in a relationship after two years of sobriety that didn't work out, as I wanted it to. Looking back on it now, I can say that I was really toxic in that relationship. I was selfish in that, I wanted to be intimate with her all the time. I didn't give her the personal space that she needed because I was too clingy. I didn't like the way I came across in that relationship; so, I'm taking the time now to get to know my self and what I want.

When you can come across to people as a person who knows what they want out of life, people are much more likely to want to be around you.
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Relationships Are Complicated

Relationships are complicated enough in and of themselves. If you throw into the mix, two people that are in the program of alcoholics anonymous; things have a tendency to get heated at times because your both in the process of trying to get to know your self and what you want.

Alcoholics Anonymous

Being in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, is like a journey of self-discovery. It's hard enough to just not drink alcohol and try to figure out other things to do with our time, let alone relationships.
www.associatedcontent.com/article/1744100/the_benefits_of_going_to_alcoholics.html

Complicate Things

Sometimes, relationships complicate things. Part of the reason that they say to stay out of relationships during the first five years of sobriety is because usually it takes at least five years to be able to get to know your self, sober.
www.associatedcontent.com/article/2334428/the_embarrassment_of_an_alcohol_induced.html

Depression

A lot of the time people are dealing with issues like depression; which come up in recovery. I've heard it said in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, that if you kill yourself within the first five years of sobriety; then you're killing a stranger because you don't really know your self.
www.associatedcontent.com/article/2257321/depression_how_its_robbing_you_of_your.html

Take Time

Everything in life, takes time. It took a long time for us to develop into the dreaded alcoholic that we were; and it's going to take time to learn how to live a new way of life, the sober way of life.
www.associatedcontent.com/article/2362446/alcoholics_anonymous_and_medication.html

Alcoholic Fog

As people, alcohol took its toll on us and changed the person we were and because we've been stuck in that mode for so long, it takes time to get unstuck. It takes time for the alcoholic fog to clear in our brains and for us to be able to think clearly without needing a drink of alcohol every time we have a problem.
www.associatedcontent.com/article/2362446/alcoholics_anonymous_and_medication.html

Take It Easy

Take it easy on your self, and give your self a break. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither were you. Take the time that you need; then, when it comes time for a relationship in sobriety, you'll be a lot happier.
www.associatedcontent.com/article/2329166/the_sober_alcoholics_holiday_guide.html
www.associatedcontent.com/article/2279749/alcohol_alcoholic_alcoholism_and_aa.html