Butter Safe Than Sorry by Tamar Myers

With all of the books I have (and still have to review) I don't think anything this bad has ever been delivered by FedEx.

"Butter Safe Than Sorry" by Tamar Myers is the 17th novel in the Pennsylvania Dutch mystery series and I don't think I'm missing anything in the previous novels.

This is the story of Magdalena Yoda, a 52 year old woman who runs/owns the PennDutch Inn, an authentic Amish bed and breakfast (she is of Amish descent but is a practicing Mennonite, married to a Jewish doctor) and the two have a four year old boy.

One day just before the bank closes, she and Jacob are in line when the bank is held up by three men disguised as Amish. A shot is fired grazing the arm of teller Amy Neubrander which causes Magdalena to be institutionalized across the street from the inn at the convent of the Sisters of Perpetual Apathy. It just so happens that Mother Superior is actually Magdalena's mother-in-law.

When Magdalena springs herself from the convent, she returns across the street and three couples check into the PennDutch Inn for the ultimate Amish experience.

Nothing really happens until the murder of Amy followed by another murder a little later in the book. If you do read this book you'll undoubtedly be scratching your head and scowl since you'll have no idea what's going on.

All of the characters are BORING and I couldn't write a less compassionate lead character if I had to. The mystery to this book is why was I reading it? (In all fairness to the author(s) I think it's best to continue trudging along, no matter how bad a book is and I've recently read my share of bad dead trees which ended up as so called novels).

Also, this is an interactive book with recipes along the way. The editor who approved this book should be reprimanded. After so many chapters up pops a recipe as its own chapter. Maybe the editor knew how bad this was and figured he/she would sprinkle the recipes throughout since no one would be able to get past the first chapter.

While Myers doesn't use profanity in the book (well, Magdalena does use bad words such as "ding, dang, dong" throughout the book), it does seem as though she is pushing religion onto the reader, regardless of their faith.

In this day of political correctness, Myers should have thought it through when she describes four year old Jacob (after making up a game for him to find a dollar sign with the most numbers behind it at the local grocery store) when he says "Okay!". Myers writes, "Off he skipped, as gay as a Broadway producer and twice as happy."

Ding, dang, dong, this is one to avoid.