Buying Underwear for Your Wife

There are probably few areas more complex to negotiate for many husbands than buying underwear as a gift for their wife. The reasons for this seem to be varied but include:

Fear of buying something the wrong size;

Embarrassment at entering certain shops or the female underwear sections of larger department stores;

Fear of sending the wrong message.

How can you avoid these problems?

Size is the easiest. Check your spouse's lingerie drawer, and write down the key information. Since different products use different scales to indicate size (and US, UK and European sizes all mean different things, and just to confuse some manufacturers use their own terminology), it may be an idea to check more than one set.

Embarrassment is a bit harder to handle. One option, and it is not a bad idea for lots of reasons is to go on line. You have the size information to hand, you can then either check general websites or those of specific manufacturers. The main difficulty with shopping on line is having no one to ask and trying to imagine what the item will look like from a photograph.

If you can, the best option is to conquer your nerves and go to the stores. The staff will, if anything, be amused (perhaps wishing their husband/boyfriend) would do the same and very helpful. Also if you have made a mistake it will probably be an awful lot easier to take the items back to a local store (if they are still unworn).

Dealing with the meaning of clothes and the inherent message is much more complex. There is a whole branch of psychology that considers how we form our identity and how we dress to indicate a particular message to the world.

So the pitfalls are real too boring and safe and the message is that you think your partner is unsexy, too risque and you can be accused of the opposite. Unless you are really sure it is probably best to avoid anything too overtly sexual.

The best advice is to listen, does she mention a desire to wear particular makes of underwear, does she linger outside certain lingerie shops when out. If so, you are probably on safe ground following those clues.

Finally, you will still be left with the problem of color and fabric, issues much too individual for any sensible advice.

Of course, you could always ask but that rather spoils the surprise element of the present.