California Beach Scene

If you were on the beach in California today, this is what it would look like.

If you weren't on the beach in California today, create an image in your mind's eye from what follows.

If you can remember this beach scene image, it's what you'll recall when asked to think of something pleasant. Here we go...

If you want to see natural beauty, you've come to the right place.

If you want to see flesh, you've come to the right place.

If you got a parking space, you are luckiest person on the beach.

If you walked to the beach, you're lucky to live so close.

If you found a spot to put down your sand chair, you've got the best seat in the house; enjoy the show.

If you took the gals' swim suits and stitched them all together, you wouldn't have enough material to make a dress.

If your feet aren't bare, your footwear is flip flops.

If your shoulders aren't bare, you're wearing too many clothes.

If the median age isn't 13.5, it's not a day over 13.6.

If the water were greener, it would be liquid emerald.

If the ocean weren't so cold, you would swear it was the Caribbean.

If you have no sunscreen on, you'll fry but won't know it.

If you left your sunglasses behind, you'll have cataracts by next year.

If you think that no one knows what you're looking at behind your sunglasses, they do because they're looking there too.

If you never go in the water, you're not alone.

If you go in the water, you're not alone.

If you came to the beach only to watch people, you're not alone.

If no surfers are waiting for waves, it's not the Pacific you're seeing.

If guys wore their swim suits any lower, you could tell their religion.

If you've not seen a surfer completely remove his wet suit in public, you haven't seen anything yet.

If you are enjoying the gentle breeze through your hair, see if it isn't better than when your spouse does it.

If anybody isn't enjoying themselves, you can't tell.

If you think that anything but the Divine created this beautiful place for people to enjoy, think again.

If you think you died and went to heaven, you didn't. You are on the beach in California.