Calling All Men...Have You Done the 'Breast Test' Today?

All girls can remember the embarrassment we felt when we were about 12 years old and our flat chests all of a sudden developed nubs. How many ways could we hide these nubs from the boys, so they didn't tease us? I knew a girl who put bandages on her nipples until the 8th grade so no one could see her nipples through her shirt. I myself wore a training bra and an undershirt over it so no one could see the bra.

As we got older the heavy-duty bras took the place of those training bras from that point on we got stuck wearing them every day for the rest of our lives. Those that don't wear them look really shabby, unkempt and trashy. No it's not sexy, it's disgusting. But that's the rule for women. Don't leave home without it. We have them in every color, line and we wash dry them, and we have a special doorknob in the bedroom just for all those great chest supports we have to wear. But that's women, What about men?

I have been noticing a growing number of men with breasts...the kind of breasts that are found on women. So if women have to wear bras every waking moment, why don't men have to wear them? I don't think most men are aware they have these huge breasts with nipples that stick out like Farrah Fawcet. I worked at a place where the IT guy had bigger boobs than me and I am a 38C. He had the nerve to wear clingy shirts that formed over these man boobs. When he was cold, his nipples stuck out like a centerfold. When he ran, which he did down the halls a lot, he was weird like that, and his boobs would flip flop all over the place. You felt like you were watching Bo Derek in "10". I remember staring at these bouncing breasts in amazement that he had no clue how embarrassed I was for him. Everyone laughed behind his back. I wouldn't tell him, the guys wouldn't tell him. The guy had no clue.

I see no advertisements for men and intimate chest support apparel. Yoo who...Jockey, Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren, Hanes, Fruit of the Loom...There's a missed market out there...there's a very serious man harness problem and no one is doing anything about it! I mean it is not acceptable to have a man boobs wearing a fitted shirt without the right 'gear'. The man gear. Just like they have jock straps to hold their genitals, so they should have man bras to hold their breasts. Look, there isn't one person who is reading this that doesn't know what I am talking about. Call it a fleshy chest, call it whatever you want. But next time you guys look in the mirror, take a good long look at your breasts. Do the 'breast test'. Jump up and down in the mirror. If you see your chest flipping up and down, you have man boobs. And under no circumstances do you rough it and not wear an undershirt. That is pure and simple, gross. Your nipples should not be seen through your shirt. Not at work, not in a restaurant, not in church, not at the ball field, nowhere but your own bedroom. It is an epidemic and you gotta face it, it exists and it is you or someone you know. Fleshy chests are on the rise. These fleshy chests have all the dimensions of women breast and they are so un-sexy, you really need to address this with yourself. So don't make believe it's not you, because chances are it is. You can help yourself by doing one of the following:

1) go to a plastic surgeon and get a consult. He may advise some lipo or maybe some chest implants (no, I don't mean breast implants, these are the guy versions of muscle). He can really give you some expert plastic surgery advise. If you're a young guy, this is the way to go definitely. If you are an older guy, well, if you are looking to score with the ladies...get the surgery. You don't want to all of a sudden turn on the lights and see your lady friend nursing on your tit would you? Yuk!

2) Go and send an e-mail to Jockey, Hanes, Fruit of the Loom, Calvin Klein and ask them to consider making man bras. If they don't hear it from you guys they don't know there is a problem and that they need to fill a need.

3) Get yourself some sleeved & sleeveless v-neck ; yes I said V-necked white undershirts. No one wants to see your undershirt collar under a shirt, that's tacky. Wear one of these under every single shirt you wear. This won't solve the problem, but at least you are letting us all know that, you know, you have a fleshy chest and are trying to still look good.

I mean no disrespect to you men. It is what it is, but that doesn't mean we all have to endure the awkwardness you create when you enter a room. I truly am trying to be the one to let you know you have toilet paper on your shoe; Or tell you that your dress is tucked inside your panty hose as you walk out of the ladies room...people wont tell you when you are making yourself look bad. They would rather laugh at you behind your back. So, I am trying to help you by first making you aware that your fleshy chest has evolved into man boobs and I give you some helpful advise on how to help yourself look better. So tell all your guy friends to read this article and you wont have to let people around your guy friend's laugh behind their back s anymore. And if you read this and don't do anything about your nasty man boob problem, then shame on you, you deserve to be laughed at. Don't kid yourself, everyone sees them and everyone laughs at them. Take my free helpful advice and you will be a happier and more respected man!