Calling Earth 2 - Scientists Discover Earth-like Planet in Outer Space

I saw a very telling cartoon recently in a local newspaper. In it, the Earth was being examined by a doctor. The doctor said to the planet, "The bad news is you have an acute attack of humans. The good news is that it has almost run its course."

Now astronomers have discovered a new planet; an Earth like planet only 20.5 light years away, which in the vastness of space is practically next door. The planet, half the size of our present sun, circles a red dwarf sun in Libra, so you Libras check out your forecast and see if it says you are going on a long journey. The planet is called Gliese 581 C, which is quite a cute URL, but what's the betting it gets called Giselle?

When the first astronauts get there, they are going to be slightly put out with the 13 day year, and they would have to go on a very strict diet because if they normally weigh 140 pounds they would weigh 220 on Gliese. That would solve a lot of obesity problems, wouldn't it?

Our present virus infected planet, Earth, must be overjoyed at the news. Perhaps the human virus it is suffering from will jump to the other planet and leave Terra to recover its lakes, forests and breathable air. With any luck it will be able to place an ice pack on its north and south poles again. Earth is so excited about the discovery of Gliese, that it has given humanity a reward. It has allowed us to find the supposedly fictional 'Kryptonite.'

Unfortunately, although the powdery material has the same composition as kryptonite, it does not appear to have the same properties - so far. The new substance is called Jadarite, after the town of Jadar, Serbia, where it was discovered. It makes one wonder if there was a planet called 'Jadar' that blew up and whether there really is a superman among us?

But before our Earth starts blowing up the balloons and pouring the champagne, there is some bad news. The humanity virus might not be able to make the leap to the new planet. The virus may have trapped itself on earth by filling Earth's orbit with space debris - some of it stamped 'Made in China,' from that nation's destruction of its own satellite which it used for rocket target practice

The space-debris cloud orbits the Earth every 90 minutes. Who would have dreamed 50 years ago that here would be such a thing as a ring of man-made debris circling our planet? Some of the thousands of pieces of metal fall to earth, and as far as we know, Astronaut Ed White's glove is still orbiting the Earth as it has done since he lost it in 1965, so always be ready for a spatial slap on the back. {The recent UP Aerospace launch carrying the ashes of 'Scotty' from Star Trek, plus another 200 crematory remains, will be sub-orbital, meaning that the dust will drift down and burn up - again, and not be a hazard to space flight.}

How do we get rid of these deadly pieces of junk? There is no point in trying to blast them to pieces; the Chinese proved that. Perhaps we can send a rocket up with a large magnet trailing behind it, and hope it catches enough debris to leave a pathway to the stars or persuade Mr. Bryson to invent a space vacuum cleaner that will 'work properly?'

Whatever the answer, we had better come up with it fast. Our host planet isn't going to put up with us much longer. Soon she will get irritated and ask for a shot of antibiotics. When that happens, Kryptonite or not, we will be looking at a long downward spiral as we are purged from her system. Let's pray that we infect our new hostess, Gliese 581 C before then.

Sources:
Http://news.sympatico.msn.ctv.ca
Http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kryptonite
Http://en.wikipedia.org/Gliese_581_c