Can Abstinence-Only Teaching Be Effective? What Parents Can Do to Help Kids

Our God-given agency allows each of us to choose for ourselves what we will do and what we will teach our children. But, remaining chaste is absolutely possible and it is always in fashion. No one needs to be made ashamed for espousing such a noble and pure virtue, and no parent needs to hesitate teaching his or her kids about abstinence.

Can Abstinence-Only Teaching Really Be Effective? Where's the Data?

Like many Christians, I most trust information that comes from our beloved Father in Heaven and His Only Begotten Son. We know from as early as the Old Testament the command we have from God: "Thou shalt not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14). We also know from the New Testament that "God is faithful" and "will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it" (1 Corinthians 10:13).

The coupling of those scriptures, along with my personal testimony that they are true, satisfies my mind that abstinence-only teaching can be tremendously effective. The happiness I have found in life is a by-product of the application of such glorious teaching. The law of chastity is a powerful guardrail in avoiding so many of the dangerous pitfalls that beset us in this modern world of supposed-enlightenment.

How Can Teaching Teens Only About Abstinence Prevent Unwanted Behavior?

Boyd K. Packer wisely taught, "The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior. Preoccupation with unworthy behavior can lead to unworthy behavior. That is why we stress so forcefully the study of the doctrines of the gospel" ("Little Children").

Understanding the perils and diseases often accompanied by premarital sex can help some shy away from the behavior, but I cannot imagine that any secular facts or lessons can have as binding of an effect on the youth today as can children understanding their relationship with their Supreme Creator. Knowing who you are, why you are here, and what you are to accomplish while in this probationary state is reason enough to abstain.

But, How Can We Combat a Media Who Doesn't Validate This?

Here are four inspiring quotations to consider when thinking about standing tall and teaching truth regardless of what those around us are doing.

1. Neal A. Maxwell warns against bowing to the world who reasons "since the old standards of chastity, virtue, and marriage don't fit the way many people now live, we ought to lower the standards" ("What Is . . .").

2. Even the Wall Street Journal has editorial writers willing to address the unpopular: "The United States has a drug problem and a high-school-sex problem and a welfare problem and an AIDS problem and a rape problem. None of this will go away until more people in positions of responsibility are willing to come forward and explain, in frankly moral terms, that some of the things that people do nowadays are wrong" ("The Joy of What?," Wall Street Journal, as qtd. in "Moral Discipline").

3. Boyd K. Packer triumphantly declares: "We do not set the standards, but we are commanded to teach them and maintain them. The standard remains abstinence before marriage and total fidelity in marriage. However out of step we may seem, however much the standards are belittled, however much others yield, we will not yield, we cannot yield." ("The Standard . . .")

4. M. Russell Ballard points out the responsibilities of parents: "We need to spend enough quality time with our children that we are consistently the main influence in their lives, not the media or any peer group." He also cites that we must set good examples and discuss with our kids how to make choices that will uplift. ("Let Our Voices Be Heard").

Of course, there is repentance for the penitent, but Neal A. Maxwell reminds us: "Abstinence from sin is better than moderation or even repentance. Prevention is better than any cure!"

Sources:

Boyd K. Packer, "Little Children," Ensign, Nov 1986, 16. LDS.org.

Boyd K. Packer, "'The Standard of Truth Has Been Erected'," Liahona, Nov 2003, 24. LDS.org.

D. Todd Christofferson, "Moral Discipline." LDS.org.

M. Russell Ballard, "Let Our Voices Be Heard," Liahona, Nov 2003, 16. LDS.org.

Neal A. Maxwell, "What Is Real Love and Happiness?," New Era, Jun 1992, 4. LDS.org.