Can Abused Children Become Productive, Non-Abusive Parents?

Abuse has no definitive boundaries considering it can involve anything from the occasional verbal abuse to the more extreme abuse that can include derogatory verbal, sexual, physical and mental maltreatment that occurs on a regular basis. In an ideal environment children will typically do as their parents or guardians do, not as they say. This is where they will learn life examples from the role models that interact with them daily, humane or inhumane.

Children that are born into a family where one or more family members exhibits violence will pass this behavior onto their own children out of bad habits and example. After all this is all the child knows, so it is reasonable to expect that they will continue on with this behavior until someone intervenes and shows them that it is wrong. Baring this is mind, it is a reasonable assumption that a child who has been directly involved with a violent existence throughout their entire childhood will more than likely pass this type of behavior on to their own children.

A child naturally seeks approval from the role models in their life, even if it involves receiving negative attention. This is a direct result from years of abusive cycles in families that have not received any type of guidance. Any child that comes from this type of environment is literally programmed to become an abusive parent as this is the basic life skills that they have learned when it comes to dealing with children, but statistics show us that this is not necessarily true. Being a child of abuse myself I can honestly say that I could have easily been an abusive parent, but instead I broke the cycle within my own family out of a sheer desire to raise happy, healthy children.

Many people believe that we are beginning to face the true nature and significance of child abuse, while others worry that we have become obsessed with child abuse and deny any personal responsibility for this type of problem that grips society. The very idea of child abuse is controversial as it means many different things to different people.

Our current laws define child abuse as any physical injury, sexual abuse, humiliation, shame or emotional abuse inflicted on a child other than by accidental means. This does not include spanking when administered in a reasonable manner. By reasonable they mean that a child with obvious marks falls under the guidelines of being abused, but a light spanking is permissible, so long as no hand prints or belt marks are imprinted onto the child's body as evidence of a good beating.

The consequences of raising a child in an abusive household can vary as each person perceives abuse differently; therefore their behavior as adults can range from being a completely loving adult who rises above the abuse to a completely violent person who must act out their pent up aggressions. Statistics show us that a typical situation where abuse has been inflicted can possibly result in a child growing up to lie, resent, fear, and retaliate, instead of loving, trusting, and nurturing. Deeper problems can result in an adult that was raised in an abusive environment, from avoiding these family members at all costs, and possibly becoming a total recluse.

Adult survivors of child abuse have only two choices in life, either they learn to control their behavior or they continue to remain a victim, passing on bad behavior in a continuing vicious cycle. Controlling yourself can be easier said then done as your self-concept has been tattered, and quite often you are made to feel like the abuse was completely brought on by your own actions. The majority abusive parents were themselves abused in some way as a child. These parents hit or neglect their children because they were hit or neglected, and they become inadequate parents because of the inadequate parenting they received, but this in no way means that all parents who were abused as children become abusive parents.

Breaking the cycle of abuse is strictly up to each individual, and this starts by coming to terms with the abuse you suffered as a child, whether it was verbal, physical, sexual or emotional, you must face it by talking to others in group counseling, therapy, or the abuser themselves. When adult survivors get deeply in touch with their own pain, and better understand it clearly, they no longer want to take it out on their own children.

The damaging effects of child abuse witnessed in adults is that no one truly escapes childhood abuse unscathed, although many survivors of abuse are highly competent in their professional and personal lives they still secretly compensate for the adverse effects of an abusive childhood. Some adults appear to be resilient to abuse, becoming overachievers until their childhood catches up with them. This normally comes by way of facing the abuser, and whether the person who inflicted the abuse is willing to admit to what they have done. Often, the abuser passes away without any type of apologies or closure for the abused child who is now an adult, leaving the abused angry, confused and full of self doubt and questions as to why it happened.

Statistics and Facts on Child Abuse

It is estimated that there are 60 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse in America today.

According to Browne & Finkelhor, long term effects of child abuse include fear, anxiety, depression, anger, hostility, inappropriate sexual behavior, poor self esteem, tendency toward substance abuse and difficulty with close relationships.

Adults who viewed domestic violence in the home as children have a greater difficulty holding jobs, maintaining relationships with their peers and have a higher risk of developing mental health disorders.

1,500 children die from abuse each year. There are 140,000 injuries to children from abuse each year. There are 1.7 million reports of child abuse each year.

Up to 80 to 98% of children suffer physical punishment in their homes, with a third or more experiencing severe physical punishment resulting from the use of implements-Jim Hopper Ph.D.

Approximately 1 in 4 women in North America were molested in childhood.

More than 2 million cases of child abuse and neglect are reported each year in the United States. An estimated 150,000 to 200,000 new cases of sexual abuse occur each year.

There were an estimated 903,000 victims of maltreatment nationwide.

An estimated 1,100 children die of abuse and neglect each year, a rate of approximately 1.6 deaths per 100,000 children in the general populations.

Approximately 1 in 7 males have been sexually molested before the age of 18.

April is the National Child Abuse Prevention Month.