Can You Give Too Much Praise to Your Child's Intellect?

Should parents focus on telling their children they are smart? One prominent researcher on child intelligence says no.

In Scientific American in November 2007, Carol S. Dweck reported that: "more than 30 years of scientific investigation suggests that an overemphasis on intellect or talent leaves people vulnerable to failure, fearful of challenges and unwilling to remedy their shortcomings."

Of course, parents don't want to engage in too much praise and set their kids up to fail. There is also more to the issue than research. Whether or not Dweck's findings apply to your child is something important to ponder. As a parent, you may be more inclined to build up your child's confidence of an intellectually gifted child or encourage the value of hard work.

Here is an interesting perspective on this research. If you tell a child he or she is good at a particular sport and might be a professional athlete some day, does the child refuse to practice as hard because of a feeling of superiority? Does that superior attitude lead to less effort in practicing the sport because the child feels it is unnecessary?

From a parent's perspective, there is a connection between the areas of intellect and athletic ability. If you look past the research, you can think about how well you know your own child. Is your child motivated to do well? Will your child put forth effort in schoolwork to get good grades even when possessing natural testing ability? Is your child lazy and coasting through school?

Another interesting dimension to this dilemma of whether you should tell your child that he/she is really smart is that not all children fit statistics or research. A child that is conscientious through kindergarten through eighth grade can become a radically different student when going through life-changing experiences. For example, a child can develop a drug problem, a bad group of peers, a traumatic event, or another reason that impacts his/her desire to work hard in school.

The bottom line for parents is the ability to model as many values as desired. You can praise your child's natural abilities and encourage the value of hard work. If you believe the research cited by Dweck, you might just want to moderate the praise you give your child's natural talents.