Can it Be Good for an Over-Giver to Give Even More?

Cami Walker was very ill with MS, and found great healing and life transformation after being prescribed by Mbali, a South African Medicine woman, giving something away for 29 days. It is a teaching in non-attachment.

Giving to others in a significant way as a general practice opens the heart and hand chakras, and let's energy flow from them, being refilled by the vibration of love, tuning into the resonance of the source. Being a giver in a world that contains some selfish people can lead to being taken from so heartily, one can become drained to the point of complete incapacitation. That was the unique perspective I was bringing to discussions in Cami Walker's group, 29 Gifts, http://www.29gifts.org, from the beginning, and sharing my insights based on that was part of what motivated me to join.

I figured I could be a voice coming from the opposite end of Cami's spectrum as it comes full circle to the same color, as I am someone who has given so much of myself that I acquired an illness that doctors thought at first was MS, with symptoms very similar to Cami's. I had burned myself out to the extent of years of paralysis. After gingerly deciding to join, I have been waiting through two months full of giving to make my report: does it heal or hurt in a case like this to give even more while being part of the 29 Challenges group?

I have always given much of my art and writing away for free to online magazines and such, so the world can benefit from them. Even when I was too sick with my M.E. to lift my arm any higher than the desk, I'd be holding that arm with the other one, resting my head on my shoulder, bent over the computer, making my art or writing and sending it out to be published so that others would gain something from it. I do it because it makes me happy to be useful to the world. I know it makes my art and writing worth less on the market for so much of it to be out there for free, but I don't want to hold it back from reaching as many people as possible who can't afford to buy it.

I've always organized my life around my gifts because I have the potential to facilitate healings on all levels. I use my expertise in healing, hypnotherapy, teaching, analysis, research, energy work, aura reading, writing, and my biggest skill, Shaktipat transmissions to raise people's Kundalini. I do this by resonating with the source and bringing the energy through. Sometimes my giving nature puts me in danger, if I am helping someone deal with his manipulation by a dark cult or program. I knew these would be the many things I would be drawn to give away during the Challenge, and indeed, these are the presents I am giving people in my 29 days eternal. My gifts each day change lives deeply, forever, and I knew I wasn't signing up to give away used clothes, but to devote myself fully to healing others without reciprocation, when I, myself, was in such a delicate condition and barely able to support myself because of my adrenal issues from over-giving healing to others already.

I have always felt the value of helping people so much that my parents disowned me at one point because they felt that anything they gave to me I would give away. People I love coach me in not giving so much but saving my resources, in charging more for my art, in not letting my energy be taken by others who suck me dry, in being more of a "bitch" and taking care of myself more instead of others. I had to find a way to combine both giving more and giving less, to survive the 29 Gifts Challenge.

When considering signing up for the Challenge, "What more can I give?", I asked myself. "They want even MORE from me, when I've already given so much I've opened up my psyche to be energetically vampirized because I'm so giving and empathetic already? Will this tip the scales and throw me into more illness with less money to treat it with? Will I re-open the holes that have been bored in my aura by all the healing work I've done already for people who then took advantage of my generosity of spirit to continue to take my life force energy? Will this give the world the wrong magical message, that I am open to be taken from without reciprocity? Will I be broadcasting that I'm a sucker, not worth giving to, but only taking from on a deep level? Will I lose the ground I've covered so far?" I had to really wrestle with myself before joining, feeling it was maybe just the opposite of what I should be doing. I was seriously scared clicking the button on the screen. I stared at it for a long time.

My "over-giving" truly always came from a desire to be of as much service as possible, whether people pay or not, for services which demand a great deal from me but which can enhance people's lives so intensely it had always seemed worth the sacrifice. It had caused me to push myself so far to be of service, living without enough means therefore, I had ended up with debilitating adrenal exhaustion and even lifting an arm, for several years, was beyond me. I had to step back from so much giving to others and give myself the gift of not giving. I was just reaching the heart of the revelation of just how much life force had been robbed from me, and how, when I came across Cami's 29 Day Challenge.

The moment I clicked and joined the Challenge, I felt the energy continuum flow of the group's excitement, and resonating with that, I felt I was being given a LOT immediately. I was being given the euphoria not only of seeing people happier through my gifts, but of being part of a community of people who were happy because they too were giving. I was part of something fun, something transformative, something ultimately a healer had begun, that was making a difference in the world, and would grow to make a big change in so many people's lives, even more in the lives of the givers than the receivers, most likely. I didn't feel alone in my giving. And the fact that it wasn't compulsory, but voluntary, never based on guilt and fear, but on growth seemed to make it a great model for our society to follow. I was proud of Cami, and all those involved and honored to participate.

So much of the New Age has become based on how to get more, to manifest, and if people aren't doing well, then it can be seen as their fault for not doing something right in the fervent desire to be wealthy and get ahead. The mainstream focus on metaphysics has become making money, and that approach seems to generate false formulas and dashed expectations. It engenders a kind of superficiality and judgmentalism and materialism. If someone doesn't what he is trying to manifest, he may feel spirituality doesn't really work, and give up.

I have always tuned into the resonance of the divine to bring healing through. I found that being part of a community of people excited about giving HELPS resonate with the frequency of the source. Having THAT reward from the giving help balance it out so it doesn't become draining, and unfair, but is more fun than ever. The energy I give out is brought back to me by the joy of being part of such an important revelation to the world-the healing power of giving. But I feel the community aspect of it, in my case, since I have always given, is the new key. I've been part of activist groups all along, with others who give of themselves unceasingly to help the world in some of the most important ways that I know of, often putting ourselves in danger by doing so.

I think a difference here from activism and philanthropy is that these gifts are often more playful, more focused on the act of giving rather on accomplishing a goal, on the spontaneous flow of being a conduit for the Universe to give to people through in whatever way that takes each day. It's like being a child, playing and having a great time with how fun it can be to surprise people. The activism is still very important, and though people have always contributed to causes and perform great acts of mentorism and philanthropy, there is something delightful added to the world through this groups' warm, non-agenda gifts that they derive personal satisfaction from, and the sharing of individual transformations that come through their discoveries of their own ability to make people happy daily even in small ways. I had learned the joys of giving, as a child, but I wish more children were brought up to play that way, surprising people that way, rather than just the opposite lessons they so often learn. I think this group will grow enough that more children WILL learn that.

Giving becomes not just each random individual act, but something acknowledged as important, something to knock off the To Do list. Having giving be on the agenda each day and accomplishing it, even though we might have accomplished it anyway without acknowledging it in the past way of doing it, feels good. Having the chance every day to spread our blessings adds more beauty to life, and balances out the frustrations. Doing it in community helps establish a foothold in the continuum, allows a way to share in the excitement with each other, adds to the identity of the self. It gets the brain thinking in new creative ways, wondering how to best create a wonderful experience for someone each day. And THEN getting to cross if off the day's list. Ah....!

It's comforting to remember that each new day provides a different lovely potential for helping someone be extra happy, helping someone transform, making friends know how much you care, and strangers remember their day more fondly. The gifts I give most often are not small, but help someone with healing on any level including the physical, with releasing blockages and addictive behaviors, with their spiritual flow of energy through their bodies, with remembering through hypnosis, with learning new techniques to transform their lives. I send healing transmissions while resonating with the source, and work with their healing in so many ways, different each day. I may sometimes do promotional work for free to help someone whose art I believe in, or hand someone my own expensive creations. Some of the most fun gifts have been anonymous, putting gifts places where people would find them, and sneaking away. I may give 20 dollars to someone asking on the street. I have been mailing presents and cards to my father constantly. I give clothes away I would normally wear, but I'm getting rid of what I can, for this 29 Day Gifts Challenge. It all runs together. Even just months of realizing that without even trying, I would have already been giving something major every day. And so to participate in this group, I have to do even more. And I love it.

Sometimes the giving I've done since joining the 29 Gifts Challenge has meant going hungry to help someone else, but this has been common in my life all along. I've given all kinds of gifts, from material possessions to solace, to all the methods of healing I've always given. I'm happy to report that I have not felt depletion from being part of this, as much as a euphoric lift, a sense of glowing light and joy.

No individual gifts stand out to me as answering my questions. This is still open ended. I haven't come to a neat summary from two months of giving, but process more each day the methods of giving while protecting the self at the same time. Being part of a community of other gives allows me that support. After months of giving consciously every day (while having the simultaneous luxury of not being drained), I have become, more invigorated, enthusiastic, creative, with more bonded friendships, a lot of memories of people I have made happier, a sense of hope for the world as it embraces this method, a sense of community with others who heed the advice of the 29 Gifts Challenge.