Can One Ever Get Over Being Cheated on?
Can You Really Forget ?
After asking a group of thirty known cheaters.Male and Female this is what we came up with.Some knew what they were doing and some did not.It doesn't matter if you are dating,seeing each other.Maybe boyfriend,girlfriend even husband, wife.The end result is always the same.One person gets some type of pleasure and the other gets hurt.In reality it doesn't matter which side your on everyone gets hurt one way or another.
Reason why people cheat :
Unhappy sexually with the partner they have.
Unhappy mentally with their partner..
I had way to much to drink. Wow got to love this one ! Don't they know that is the worst lie they can tell.
Unclear of how each other felt. Are we together or our we just friends?
I had needs and they gave it to me..
Plain out right didn't think I would get caught
It really doesn't matter what excuse you use.Chances are it is a lie and you will have to come up with the truth sooner or later.Does it really matter what the reason was ? 60% said no. 40% said yes and the reason that was given was because I love him.
Each person has to stop and think if it is important to them.Some find it best that they don't know the details others want all details.Balance it out what would you do if it was you? After finding reason why a person cheats I wanted to know how ? How did the secret come out ? Did they find out or did you tell ? Out of thirty people only one person came out and told there spouse.
He said he was confident enough in the love with his wife that she would understand and forgive him.He said it was not planned and he was shocked that he had done it..We all know what the next question was..How did she take it? Well he is single and hoping to find a new love and not make the same mistake.His wife could not live with the fact that he had cheated and left him 3 days after it happened.
Now out of the other 29 of course they got caught.Some had the person they cheated with rat them out.Others found left over sitting around.Heres a pointer always leave with all your clothes even if you are trying to rush away.Some trusted friends and the felt they need to speak the truth.Now out of this 29 people only 9 stayed together.
One quote was "There will always be a constant reminder dropped here and there but I deserve it". "I am just grateful that my wife was able to forgive me and understand that I was truly sorry for what I had done".
I did get a chance to speak with the wife and she told me how she felt.At that moment speaking with her she said that at that very moment he stuck on the phone she was truly able to forgive him.Strangely enough she felt that if he was able to tell me the story in hope that it would save someone Else from making the same mistake that she knew he truly meant he was sorry.
His affair was 4yrs ago.In the back of her head all these years she still believed he would do it again and now she feels that he won't.Now to the others I spoke with shared each and every detail.It all came out to be about the same.Most just couldn't get passed and walked away.Others are still trying to gain the trust back and fix what was broken.
I had one guy tell me that every day he walks in the door from work his wife asks him who,what,when.At least once a week she will bring up a name and ask if he had slept with her.He said it is well worth it because she didn't leave me.Another man said the same thing was happening to him and he stayed another year with his girlfriend and couldn't take it anymore and broke up.
Your gonna have to way the balance here.It all depends on how strong you really are.Do you really love this person that much? Can you truly forgive them?Being cheated on is harsh and very hurtful.Where do you stand when it comes to right from wrong? Trust is what is lost not the love.Understanding is what is forgotten and faith is what gets us by.
Can someone ever get over being cheated on ? Yes but it is a battle and it will take time.You will be forgiven but it will not be forgotten.There will be a long road of healing and alot of hard work to gain trust.If you love that person it is worth it.That old saying once a cheater always a cheater is not always true.There are those that really did make a mistake and we must take that chance to forgive.
Published by Ladyfire11
I am a single mother of 4.Thanks to my kids I have learned that life is way to short to not have fun and speak your mind with freedom.Through my eyes I hope to open yours.. View profile
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12 Comments
Post a Commentwellwhere do i start.. i was in love.. thought i was going to be married to my boyfriend. We were together for almost four yrs. we had our ups and downs. we were perfect but i really love him. my best friend of 7 yrs hung out with us all the time. we were like the 3 amigoes. i thought i had the perfect life. well that all change 3 days after christmas when i found out my boyfriend and best friend were sleeping together. i was incomplete shock and extremely depressed.. the worst part was my best friend told me i deserved what i got. its been five months since it happen and i am still so depressed. i didnt just lose the person i loved.. i lost my best friend too. they say things et easier as time goes on but i just cant seem to get past this.
We both cheated, sadly. In the worst year of our marriage. I cheated with a friend I hadn't seen in years and he cheated on me with someone he met in a club. We both confessed during a separation. I wanted to work on and reconcile our marriage, he filed divorce. It wasn't until after the divorce was filed that the confessions came out. I can honestly say I will never ever ever cheat again. I hurt him, our marriage, ourself. He is still involved wtih her while I cut off all contact after it happened. Not sure how you come bac k fromt aht but I hope he is happy now. He'd also been looking online sex sites for sex w/ multiple women before all this went down, not even a yr into our marriage. I should have known but stayed and stuck it out and later cheated myself. Ugh. Talk about messed up, our entire story.
On valentines day I paid our cell phone bill to see a number on there from my husbands phone six seven times a day and he talked for like three hours. So I called him and asked who is that he of course lied to me and said well there’s something wrong with that bill I didn’t call anyone, so I called the cell store and they told me not only is it true but that there were tex messages back and forth and pictures back and forth. So I called the number my self and asked who I was speaking to and in some dirty ghetto voice she replied who the f**k is this you called me. At that moment I knew but couldn’t hang up the phone so I asked do you know my husband his name is jose???? Do you know him? Ya that’s my man she replied hes not with you he loves me and were going to be together I then said well I do remember waking up this morning making him a big breakfast having a quickie and going to work so I believe he’s my man.. Well he loves me, he loves me, she just kept saying it. Its bee
If you want to get past this: GET THE "FRIEND" completely OUT of the picture. NO communication again. Be on point, show all texts and emails to your partner and let them have access to passwords and everything. You have to EARN privacy once you've misused it. And the burned spouse needs to notice when a year goes by and the cheater has not done anything sneaky again. Don't throw the past in her face if she has been on point for a year! I won't get totally over it, but it can get better in time. (NOT just a few months, either!)
My wife cheated on me. It was mostly emotional cheating (secret texts, emails, phone calls, gifts, lunches, kissing...She even thought she was in love with someone else and tried to go have sex with someone else but got rejected). To her, it's wrong but "not as bad as sex." She didn't even consider it cheating at first! Either she was clueless or just lying some more to avoid guilt! But I say it is up to me how bad it is since I am the one in pain. I am the one on the receiving end and I got MY heart and soul broken. Our problems were not sexual or even emotional, either. Her cheating was also not an accident, according to her. She loves our sex life and says I treat her better than anyone. Her "reason" for cheating? She said it was because she got married before she was ready and felt I pushed her into it. But I gave her the choice and she made it. She said I was the only one she wanted to spend her life with and accepted my engagement ring.
@ Genny0910
I know what your pain feels like and I know it hurts. But just try to busy yourself with work, friends or a hobby. And try to not think with your emotions when making decisions concerning him. Talking to him, texting him, should I, shouldnt I..? Think. Did he have consideration for your feelings when he did what he did? The answer is no. When I found out about my boyfriend, I turned off my phone for the rest of the day until I saw him. When I turned it on again, I wasnt surprised to see 13 missed calls and 5 voicemails. He wasnt mad because he knew he had no right to be. You have to consider yourself and your state of mind first, always.
Some overall good advice for everyone is this:
"You recieve the love you think you deserve."
were inseperable (spent everyday together, literally) and we never fought about anything. Afterwards though, it was very hard. It was all I could think about sometimes & I admit that I did build up some resentment towards him which brought on a whole other series of issues and arguments. But that was two years ago and we are still together. I can say without shame, that I have forgiven him completely. It's been a wild roller coaster for us both. We've broken up, seen other people, gone on little "breaks" and him cheating was always a low blow tactic used in arguments. Somehow, though, something always pulled us back together. We actually live together now and I can honestly say that I am very content. He is my best friend, my comfort, my support, my laughter, my everything and I cant imagine life without him. Oh did I mention that we're only 18?
I have been cheated on by my current boyfriend and it hurt a lot. We had been dating for about 5 or 6 months & one night we were out with mutual friends when I decided to go home and he decided he wanted to stay. The next morning I was casually texting him and I just knew right away. I called the girl who I thought it was and I was right. She told me everything and even though they hadnt had sex, it still hurt me more than anything I'd ever experienced. I felt so betrayed, so hurt, so stupid. When I met up with him later that day, he admitted it right away and the more we talked about it, the more he started to bawl. At one point, he was sitting in my car shaking and crying like a grown baby. At first he didnt want to try to work it out at all. He wasnt sure if he was going do it again since he didnt think he'd ever do it in the first place. We decided to try to work it out and see how things went because we really liked, verging on loved, each other. And before it happened, we
As I write this I am listening to the song "Look at what I done to her" and I honestly feel a little better but I feel so sad and lonely inside I feel so betrayed and used I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me after 3 years of us being together this guy was my life and I loved him with my heart and soul and he didnt care. I never felt so hurt before in my life and I dont know what to do, everyone is telling me leave him alone dont talk to him anymore but in my heart I love him so much that its like I cant even bring myself to stop thinking about him. I try everything but all I can think of is the person I was so in love with having sex with another girl. I know there is nothing I can do to change the situation but I dont want to be home sad and stressed out while he's out with another girl not even thinking about me this feeling really sucks and I want to have the power to just take him out of my heart I know one day this is not going to phase me but for the moment
Really appreciated reading this. People are so biased to the situation and only the person hurt can make the decision. I feel in that time every person must give in their cents about what they think when really.... that person just needs support that others are there for them. That is what i really saw was best. I love that this article goes against the "once a cheater always a cheater" mindset.