Can Our Need for Unconditional Love Be Solved with a Hug?

Do you like being hugged? Some of us crave the touch of those times of brief physical contact. Many of us, depending on our upbringing, don't like the awkward feeling that a hug brings with it. I am a hugger. I love to hug and be hugged. I will hug almost anyone. If I have your permission, I will hug you. Will a hug solve all of the world's problems? Probably not, but it sure will make our problems feel a bit more manageable. A moment of brief physical contact with another human being might make us feel as though we are not alone in the world. A hug can comfort us and make us feel connected to others. There have been studies done about what happens to babies when they are not given enough physical contact.Those studies have shown that without human contact and affection, a baby will start to withdraw and eventually die.

Some families are more physically affectionate than others. I have personally witnessed families in which hugging was not acceptable. The family was distant and even when there was an accidental death of a young child in the family, there were few hugs to console the grieving family. Embarrased pats and limp handshakes tried to fill the void. My own family was not a touchy-feely kind of family. I decided when I was very young that I would hug my children. I did it often and still do to this day even though they are all adults now. They still come around and sometimes just want the comfort of their Mother's touch. I happily oblige. I received few hugs or kisses as I was growing up. I probably was hugged and kissed when I was a baby but I don't remember that. I only know that in my adolescent years and my young adulthood, I longed for the feeling of someone's arms around me. I think there are many women out there that feel the same way. I can't say whether a man longs to be held, but to the men that I have known, hugging equates the beginnings of sexual contact. It seems to be a difficult action for a man, to just hug. Arms entwined around a body with nothing expected, no desire to do anything more. Just hug!

I followed a show several weeks ago on the ABC News20/20 in Prime Time. The show was titled, "The Power of Faith." It followed the so called ministry of a middle aged, average looking woman, known as "The Hugging Saint." She is also called "Amma," which means 'Mother' in her native Malayalam language. It is said that Amma has hugged as many as 50,000 people in one day, giving each one an all embracing hug and possibly a word or two of advice or comfort. Amma was born on Sept. 27, 1953 to a poor fisherman who was also a member of one of the lowest of castes in India.

The young girl began her ministry of love at the tender age of seven, when she expressed the desire to ease the suffering of the people around her. The small Indian girl would wash the clothes of the elderly neighbors that surrounded her family's home. She would also occasionally bathe them and even bring them clothes or food from her own home. She dropped out of school in the 4th grade to help her family. She now travels through-out the world spreading love and compassion with her hugs. She doesn't offer salvation or physical healing. She doesn't promise riches or charge for her services. Moeny coming into the ministry is obtained from the sale of souvineers and outside donations. She stands for sometimes 24 hours straight, to pass out something that money just won't buy. She passes out human compassion and love through physical touching. Amma has become famous and revered for practicing the simple art of hugging. Amma has passed out more than 30 million people in 30 years.

Amma travels with hundreds of unpaid volunteers through-out the world. She has inspired many people and has started many humanitarian endeavors. There have been charities, orphanages, schools of higher learning, soup kitchens and even an 800 bed hospital created in the name of love. People of all races, religions and beliefs stand in line for as much as 24 hours or more just to receive a 30 second hug and a few seconds of Amma's time. Some cry. All feel comforted and loved. The reporter who did the show on 20/20 claimed that even though his hug lasted only 30 seconds it felt good. It felt as though he had been hugged by 1000 Grandmothers. There are no lines drawn for money or race or religion. CEOs of large companies stand together with the homeless. All wait patiently for their hug. That brief moment of unconditional love and acceptance. The feeling that we are someone to someone in this world.That we are not alone. Someone cares enough to just put their arms around us and hold us to their bosom and not expect anything in return.

Amma's philosophy is simple. "Love and serve one another. Love is what sustains life. Whatever we do it is only to get love. There are two types of poverty in this world. One kind is financial. The second one is poverty due to the lack of love. The second one is the most important."

I worked for several years among the elderly and the disabled. Their needs are no different than anyone else's. They craved the touch of another human being. Just to feel those arms around them, as if to tell them that everything will be alright. Many elderly or disabled people don't get visits from any one. Due to death, distance, or just having no one to care, they spend their days sitting alone or just lying in bed looking at the ceiling. What a wonderful service we could all do to change a little part of the world, if we would just donate a few hours of our time and visit some of these people.

It doesn't cost anything. All you have to do is care and maybe offer something more valuable than money. Just reach out and give someone a hug. Hugging is becoming more and more popular. There is an actual day to celebrate the human embrace called, "National Hugging Day." It is celebrated on January 21. You can find out a bit more about it on this Internet site. You may not be able to solve all of the overwhelming problems in the world, but you can make a difference in someone's day. You can let them know that they are not alone and someone cares about them. Opening yourself up to hugging may just change your own life. If you can't find anyone to hug, just ask. I'm sure you will find lots of people who will help you out. You can even ask me.

Sources for this story are as follows: http://abcnews.go.com/20/20/story?id=3153307
www.wikipedia.org/wiki/mata_amritanandamay

www.geocities.com/hugging_whining/Hugginghtml