Can a Teen Marriage Last?

Teen marriage has always been a hot-button topic. People can and will debate teen marriage forever but it doesn't change the fact that there are teen marriages occurring every day. Considering this, do you think that a teen marriage can last?

It is thought that around 50-60% of all teen marriages will end in divorce. There are many reasons that divorce can be the end result of a teen marriage. First off most teens will married for all the wrong reasons. Of course the teens think that their reasons are all well validated.

Pregnancy is a top contender when it comes to why a teen would get married. The teen pregnancy rate is very high in this country. It is estimated that in the United States of America there are 1.3 million babies born out-of-wedlock each year. Of course this doesn't include all of the babies born in a teen marriage.

Another reason that a teen would consider marriage is to get out of their parents' home. Maybe they feel that their parents expect too much from them. Maybe they feel like they have too many responsibilities and they tire of having to answer for them. Maybe the teens hate their jobs and school. Well these just aren't good reasons to get married. Most teens need to rethink this "reason" of their's. Once a teen is married they will have far more responsibilities than they do living at home with their parents. Where will you live? Do you have a job that can pay the bills? Who will clean, cook, shop for groceries? Who will pay which bills? What about your education? These are all things that a teen will need to think about before getting married.

Another reason that teens use when wanting to marry is that they think that by getting married they are ensuring their relationship. Maybe they feel that by getting married the other person will never leave them. All you have to do is look at the high divorce rate of teen marriages to realize that this is not a true assumption. You also have to consider that some teens consider marriage a form of control over their partner. What teens need to remember is that marriage is a partnership and that no one should be controlled by anyone. It is thought that teen wives are at more of a risk for being abused and living in poverty than older brides.

A different reason for teen marriage is maybe the teens want to live together but thier parents think it's inappropriate for the teens to live together before marriage. Sometimes this reason will then encourage the teens' parents to sign the papers for their children to get married because they fear the teens will live together anyway. This is what happened with my very own teen marriage.

In a book called Teen Marriage, by Eleanor H. Ayer, it is stated that "A girl married at 17 is twice as likely to be divorced as a girl 18 or 19. If a girl waits until she is 25 the chances that her marriage will last are 4 times better." If a teen is really wanting to get married and are truely in love then there are many thing that they need to consider before saying their I-Do's.

Before marrying a teen couple should sit down together and seriously have a conversation about all of the things that will come up in their future married life. For example, what about future children? Do the ideas of how to raise children match up with both teens? Will the children go to daycare or will mom be a stay at home mom? How will the guy feel about having to be a responsible adult and supporting his family if mom stays home with the babies? Other topics like bills, cars, insurance, groceries, rent and/or mortgage should be talked about before getting married.

I got married at the age of 17 and my husband was ten days away from his 18th birthday. We talked about these topics long before our marriage ocurred. We had actually planned to live together in our last year of highschool but our parents didn't feel it was appropriate for us to live together so they agreed to sign for us to marry. So we married on our school's Spring Break in 1996 and then went back to school the following week. Now almost 13 years and three children later we are still going strong. We are definitely not the normal for teen marriages. I recall many couples marrying in our school that year and I can tell you that not one of the couples that we personally knew are still together to this day except us. It takes a lot for a marriage to work when you aren't a teen but when you throw in a young age it makes the work even harder.

Teens do eventually grow into adults and they will change. Some will grow apart once they are older. Some will learn that they really did not love their spouse as much as they thought they did. Some will regret getting married all together. In order to prevent an unwanted marriage, here a few suggestions to consider before a teen marriage should proceed. Before marrying a teen couple should consider some sort of pre-marital counseling. This couseling could help the teens decide if they are really meant to be married or if they should wait. The prospective bride and groom could also talk to other people who have gotten married as teens. This could give the teens an idea of what life will be like after their marriage. Another good idea is for the teens to read as many teen marriage books as they can find. Do lots of research before deciding to actually marry.

It is better to wait until you are older, more mature and more established in life though. You don't want to look back one day and realize that you didn't really get to be a teen and young adult. Consider all the fun things that you will get to do if you only wait to marry a few years later in your life. If you marry young you won't know what it's like to live by yourself or to do things with your friends that you wouldn't do as a couple.

In the end, a teen marriage does not have to fail. But teens need to remember that being married is not all fun and games. Life is tough for married teens. So this decision should not be made lightly or quickly. If you go into this stage of life slowly and educated about what to expect, then a teen marriage can be as successful as any other marriage.