Can Viagra "Erect" an Impotent UN?

Is it just me or can one easily liken the UN to the impotent male? The formerly turgid body, swollen with pride and power, is now just a symbol of one time greatness and hope. Would a few thousand milligrams of Viagra give them the needed boost in performance? How many double entendres can I weave into the body of this text?

My concept is a silly one. However, just because something is silly does not automatically make it invalid. Isn't the UN building in NYC a tall one, standing sort of alone in that part of the skyline? Is the monolithic appearance the imagery they hoped to create; strong, rigid, imposing, uniform? Absolutely, it was. Sort of an architectural "Him strong like Bull!" But is that the UN of today?

Just today I saw the crawler at the bottom of the TV screen saying the Iranian regime has announced "they will not be stopped in their nuclear program." Those words were followed by the crawler's announcing something about 7 western powers and 2 previous UN Resolutions. I laughed out loud.

A UN Resolution is nothing but a great big international fart. That's it. Sometimes loud, smelly and useless. It's mildly humorous if you're not subjected to the stench. Dreadfully for the US, since the UN disgraces our property, we are forced to put up with the smell.

As well as the smell we are forced to put up with the sight of the UN. We are assaulted with a daily reminder of a once hopeful and powerful entity. It was, for a time, something upon which one could count. The UN was drunk with power, and rightly so. We had ended the most massive conflagration to ever face our race and the victors decided to band together in solidarity, and with the laudable goal of "Never Again." But that pride, that power, that confidence, that hope, were fleeting.

The UN has eroded in real power to the point of the flaccid male member. The UN is now completely impotent; basically useless, just hanging around, getting in the way, pissin' all over the place, way too sensitive and way to enamored with its former strength. Yep, that sounds about right. Now, the important question is can we do anything about it? If not, I say we get rid of the dead weight. Ouch!

Here's the reality. We foot the bill for the UN to the tune of about $850 million dollars of the UN's 2006, $4.19 billion dollars budget, or 22% of the total UN budget. That's a chunk of change in anyones pocketbook. And lest we forget, a large bunch of the diplomats employed in the various missions are on surveillance assignments.

Why should we pay $800 million per year for the privilege of viewing the eyesore of impotence, smelling the stench as well as the bonus of financing foreign operatives to spy on us? I mean, if the UN still had some bite in that bark it might be worth the hassle, but as it stands now, the building and the people filling it are nothing buy one huge waste of money as well as an eyesore.

All of this leads me back to the question do they make a Viagra pill big enough to give this impotent phallus a shot in the short arm? Doubtful.

Isn't my previous statement as to Iran proof that the UN is totally useless? When was the last time the UN packed any punch? Except for Korea perhaps, Vietnam to a small degree, and definitely the first Gulf War, what have they done for the world lately? How'd they do in Somalia? Kosovo? North Korea? Iran? Iraq in 1991-2003? Darfur? Rwanda? That's one damn lame list.

The UN is worthless as it stands today. It was constituted to be a uniform world voice to the potential aggressor. It was hoped that strength presented BEFORE the need for military action would dissuade nations or regimes from embarking upon wars of aggression. So, how are they doing lately? What happened to UN support for Israel? To hear them tell it now, Israel is an aggressor, a practitioner of attempted genocide against the poor Palestinians. Odd, considering one of the underlying premises of the UN was "Never Again."

The UN has completely eroded to back-door dealings and petty despots wielding power on a world stage that but for their horrid acts against their own peoples, would be nothing even in their own nations. Chavez is a joke, but when he comes to UN and smells sulfur, why that's real entertainment! All the World's a stage, Chavez, Ahmadenijad and that pot-bellied, dog-eating Kim Jong-Il are the comedic relief. They're the jesters. And they would be damn funny if others in the world weren't so enamored with them.

So, is the UN worth the trouble? Why do I have the sneaking suspicion that I will almost be able to break down along ideological lines those for keeping the UN, versus those who believe we should level the sight? Isn't there something better we could do with that money and land area?

I mean, wouldn't that prime real estate make an awesome landfill? A pretty damn convenient sewage treatment plant? The place couldn't smell any worse if they turned it into chicken processing plant parked alongside a paper mill. Hardly anything could be worse than the stench of decay, betrayl and corruption that flaccid member radiates. Like any dead appendage, it should be cut off. Ouch!