Can Your Weight Indicate the Strength of Your Relationship?

My thinking behind this is very simple. If you were to enter a relationship where you were constantly told how beautiful and sexy you were, would you try harder to live up to those words? Granted, everyone's metabolism slows as they age, but would you find ways to eat better and exercise so that you would stay as beautiful and as sexy as your spouse told you that you were?

First of all, let me clarify one thing. My assumption does not extend to gym rats that met and fell in love at the gym. I'm talking about most regular everyday people who meet and fall in love. Maybe they're in some modicum of shape, maybe not, but more than likely neither of them routinely exercises.

I'm going to go through a couple of scenarios and see if you find yourself in any of them. What are your thoughts and feelings as you read each scenario and find the one applicable to your situation?

Scenario 1

You met your husband/wife at a relatively young age, before time and children wreaked havoc on your body and lifestyle. You were in good shape, but never really paid much attention to what you ate or when you exercised. Your main form of exercise was discovering how many sexual positions you could achieve in one night. While you were dating and early on in your marriage, your partner couldn't keep their hands off you and was always complimenting how sexy you were. Now it's been five years since you've been married and you have a couple of kids who keep you on the run. Both of you are wrapped up in the daily grind. Frankly you haven't had time to pay attention to yourself because you're constantly making sure the household is running smoothly. During that time, you don't notice that you've put on weight. Nor do you notice that your spouse no longer showers you with compliments, but if you were to stop and think about it, you'd realize it has been quite a while since you've heard how sexy you are. You become unhappy about your weight and you no longer feel like you look sexy, so you try to lose weight but eventually some crisis occurs that demands your full attention and exercising and eating right drop to the bottom of your priority list. You have a general sense on uneasiness that runs in the background of your mind. If you had time to stop and catch your breath, you'd realize that your relationship no longer resembles anything close to what it was before the kids came along. While you maintain some intimacy with your spouse, it is usually hurried and not passionate or romantic like how it once was. You begin to wonder if your spouse still finds you attractive and when you ask, you are rebuffed with an answer like, "What kind of a question is that? Of course I am!" This only compounds the negative feelings you have about yourself.

If this is you, ask yourself this: How do you feel you would look today if your spouse had kept telling you how beautiful and sexy you are to them? How do you think you would look if the compliments never stopped? Do you think your sex life would be better or worse than it is now? If your spouse remained consistent with the compliments, would you feel closer and more connected to them? Would you make eating healthy and exercising more of a priority so you can give your spouse something worth complimenting?

Scenario 2

By the time you met your husband/wife, you had a little extra baggage, both mental and physical. You never really watched what you ate and exercising was best left to the gym rats, in your opinion. You've been in relationships before where your significant other either never complimented you from the beginning, or even worse, verbally jabbed you whenever you tried to better yourself. Now you find yourself being told how hot and sexy you are, but you feel far from it. You tell yourself that once the newness of the relationship wears off, the person will see you as you see yourself: someone who is fat, out of shape, and unattractive. But now it's been a few years and your partner still tells you how sexy they find you and still seemingly is blind. You can't understand why your partner finds you attractive, but it thrills you to the bone. Your intimate life is still steaming hot and shows no signs of slowing down. You wish you had more stamina.

If this is you: Do you have a desire to match your physical appearance to the mental image your spouse has of you? Does this or has this made you want to exercise and lose weight? How would you feel if your spouse suddenly stopped complimenting your appearance?

Scenario 3

When you met your spouse, you were in good shape. You were easy on the eyes and you knew it. You didn't go out of your way to eat healthy or exercise, and after a couple of years, your metabolism has begun to slow down and you've put on weight. However, your added cushion does nothing to slow down the compliments from your spouse. He/she still tells you how beautiful and sexy you are. But now you no longer feel like you are sexy. You hope your spouse does not secretly think he/she got the bait and switch. Your love life still is smoking hot and getting hotter but you are acutely aware of the weight you have put on.

If this is you: How would you feel if your spouse stopped complimenting you? Do you think your love life would get better or worse?

If my theory is right, then the overall consensus would be that we'd all stay closer and more connected to our spouse if they consistently complimented us. The closer we are to our spouse, the more open our communication becomes. It's a natural cycle. We are more likely to confide our fears with our spouse when the communication is open, and we are more likely to want to support our spouse in whatever they wish to achieve. One of those things could be fitness. We all have a fear of rejection and we all want to be attractive to our mate. Our desire to maintain a close relationship could ultimately drive us to living a healthier lifestyle where we make the time for ourselves so we can live longer, do more, and have more energy to give to our relationship and to ourselves.