Canada, Eh?

What can a boy born and raised in the United States say about Canada, eh? I don't know a whole lot about our neighbors to the north. I understand that Canada is sort of like Alaska, except we don't own it.

As far as I know, hockey, polar bears and shmoos are among Canada's chief exports. However, when I compare Canada with the U.S. I notice one peculiar distinction:

The U.S. has all kinds of famous disasters; Canada has none that I can think of. We have tornadoes, floods, hurricanes, earthquakes, mad cow disease, ad nausea... Canada has ....well...it has...snow, I guess.

I tried Googling "The Great Canadian Earthquake." It turned out to be the moniker of a wrestler. I Googled "The Great Canadian Hurricane," "The Great Canadian Tornado," and came up empty.

Apparently, there was a "Great Canadian Blizzard" back in '93. But what was so "great" about it, eh? I never heard of it, have you? It might be the kind of disaster that freezes my butt off, but I'm sorry, it just doesn't blow me away.

Let's face it, "The Great Canadian Polar Bear Plague" never happened and probably never will.

The thing I admire most about Canada is the people. It's hard to admire snow. It just is. So the people get my vote. Two people I really admire are Mike Meyers and Dudley Doright I believe they originate from Canada.

Their personalities reflect the seemingly disaster-free quality of that loonie country. Yes, "loonie country." Loonie is the name Canadians give to their currency. Uh huh. Ironically, unlike many foreign currencies, the loonie's value is appreciating against the U.S. dollar.

Way to go, Canada! Now when I need change for a dollar I always ask a Canadian first.

Canada is the second largest country in the world and has great deposits of oil and natural gas. As a result, Canada is slicker than Washington D.C. and has more hot gas. Who would have thought, eh?

Oh, and I hear the beer is really good, too.

WP